The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.
"A recent study rating 300 male and female advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than six hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. On the basis of this study, we recommend that businesses hire only people who need less than six hours of sleep per night."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author propounds that any business firms which willing to hire new employees, should do it according to their number of sleeping hours during the night, and this number should be below six hours. For this conclusion, the writer lists different studies and their findings as rearing reasons; however, these reasons cannot be accepted as they stand. Actually, the rest on some promises all of which are skeptical and ambiguous; in addition, for verifying these reasons, the author should response some questions about the missing clues.
The first problem with the prompt is the study conducted in one advertising firms over 300 male and female. This study is shaky since there is no evidence about the type of examination and study since different types of studies require various equipment and methods. To verify this study as the valid reason for the final conclusion, the writer should answer which method of study is implemented in this research? Whether it was the observation based or the questioner based? For instance, if it is the observation based, how long do the cases are observed? Or what was the observation situation, is it direct or according to the thermal and sonic sensor? Or if the method was the questioning the samples, who comprehend was the questions? What technique is used for the evaluation of the samples’ responses? As listed above, different quarry should be answered to validified the conclusion that fewer than six hours of sleep leads to the success of that specific organization.
The second issue with the context is the second studies which sizing the various advertisement agents and their executives who depict the need of fewer than six hours of sleep per night causes the profit and flourishment of agents. Otherwise, these studies cannot be a reliable and accurate indicator of these successes in the financial aspect and growth. Indeed, any study is valid and reliable if the number of participated or considered case studies are sufficient and are comprehensive representor of the target population. For accepting this supporting reason, the author should answer some questions. For example, what was the number of considered case studies in the studies? Do they cover the general feature of the aimed public? There is the possibility that at these studies solely the male employees with the age range between the 20-30 years are considered; in this scenario, the youth energic of this category is not a lucid and complete illustration of all employees who are both male and female and ranged between the 20-60 years old. Thus, the discussed studies cannot be accepted until the listed questions are responded.
Finally, the author overgeneralized the finding of some studies focused on the advertisement firms to all types of the business and advises if they wishing the prosper, they should hire the executives with the need of fewer than six hours to sleep at night. This overventilation is not a logical way since the potential and requirements of the different activities and varied affairs differ from each other. For this reason, the writer should response that does those recommended organization possess the same working condition as the advertisement firms? Do those business look for the same working force as the advertisement firms? For example, there is the probability that works requires a night shift, for instance working in night-shift of pharmacy store, in this case, the sleeping hours during the night should be equal the zero. Furthermore, this recommendation is vague, since the writer mentioned to the word of prosper. What does he mean by this word? Since the prosper defines differently in the different realms, it could be a financial success or international reputation; both of which demands different working technique.
To wrap it up, the recommended advice cannot be accepted until the writer address the abovementioned questions.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-appeared…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 633 350
No. of Characters: 3210 1500
No. of Different Words: 263 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.016 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.071 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.735 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 231 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 168 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 114 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 85 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.828 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.914 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.448 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.257 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.433 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 157, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...he business and advises if they wishing the prosper, they should hire the executives with t...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 133, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
.... What does he mean by this word? Since the prosper defines differently in the different re...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 112, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r address the abovementioned questions.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, look, second, so, thus, for example, for instance, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 34.0 19.6327345309 173% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 25.0 11.1786427146 224% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3291.0 2260.96107784 146% => OK
No of words: 633.0 441.139720559 143% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.1990521327 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.01592376844 4.56307096286 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83162829312 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 278.0 204.123752495 136% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.439178515008 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1002.6 705.55239521 142% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.5847984824 57.8364921388 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.482758621 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8275862069 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.93103448276 5.70786347227 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.170761330395 0.218282227539 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0457672912141 0.0743258471296 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.051454234628 0.0701772020484 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0843300904213 0.128457276422 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0644978790607 0.0628817314937 103% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.88 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 160.0 98.500998004 162% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.