The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.
"A recent study rating 300 male and female advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than six hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. On the basis of this study, we recommend that businesses hire only people who need less than six hours of sleep per night."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The article advocated that companies should employ executives who sleep no more than six hours on average, quoting a recent research of association between the amount of sleep and the company’s performation. In order to make this proposal valid, there are a few aspects the study need to further examination.
To begian with, although a connection is discovered in the study between the average numbers of hours they sleep and the success of their firms, however there is no proven correlation between these two. In order to prove this correlation true, the study needs to look into whehter all the companies studied are the same in all other criterias that will affect their productivities. There are many other factors that will influence a company’s growth and profits such as staff efficiency and product quality. It may be the execuctives who reported less sleep work for companies that sell more popular products. Therefore, the study needs to exclude all these other potential factors.
What is more, the study needs to investigate whether there were special type of promotional activities during the surved period of time, and the trend of the companies’ growth. The short length of sleep of executives from more successful companies may be because their reported sleep coincided at a time when their firms held advertising events, while the other executives reported a period when their companies’ agenda were less occupied. Also, the date reported is the average of sleeping length, so the company’s growth may have actually happened when the executives had longer rest; while, when their sleep time was shortened, the company’s growth slowed down.
In addition, although the study rated a sample of 300 executives, can the result be applied to a general practice? It may be possible that the correlaltion exists in the selected participants, however, a larger sample of a similar study will be very necessary to avoid overgenralizing the result and the implication.
In sum, the study is full of flaws, and as a result, the proposal of hiring people that sleep less is uniconving. To strengthen this and prove its validity, the abovementioned questions need to be investigaged.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The article advocated that companies should employ executives who sleep no more than six hours on average, quoting a recent research of association between the amount of sleep and the company's performation.
Error: performation Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: To begian with, although a connection is discovered in the study between the average numbers of hours they sleep and the success of their firms, however there is no proven correlation between these two.
Error: begian Suggestion: began
Sentence: In order to prove this correlation true, the study needs to look into whehter all the companies studied are the same in all other criterias that will affect their productivities.
Error: criterias Suggestion: criteria
Error: whehter Suggestion: whether
Sentence: It may be the execuctives who reported less sleep work for companies that sell more popular products.
Error: execuctives Suggestion: executives
Sentence: What is more, the study needs to investigate whether there were special type of promotional activities during the surved period of time, and the trend of the companies' growth.
Error: surved Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: It may be possible that the correlaltion exists in the selected participants, however, a larger sample of a similar study will be very necessary to avoid overgenralizing the result and the implication.
Error: overgenralizing Suggestion: overhearing
Error: correlaltion Suggestion: correlation
Sentence: In sum, the study is full of flaws, and as a result, the proposal of hiring people that sleep less is uniconving.
Error: uniconving Suggestion: unionize
Sentence: To strengthen this and prove its validity, the abovementioned questions need to be investigaged.
Error: investigaged Suggestion: investigated
----------------
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 356 350
No. of Characters: 1791 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.344 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.031 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.732 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 125 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.797 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.786 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.354 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.622 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.077 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 116, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'recent research'.
Suggestion: recent research
...more than six hours on average, quoting a recent research of association between the amount of sl...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 14, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... other potential factors. What is more, the study needs to investigate whether t...
^^
Line 4, column 123, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...romotional activities during the surved period of time, and the trend of the companies' g...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, however, look, may, so, then, therefore, while, in addition, such as, as a result, what is more
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1871.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 356.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.25561797753 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34372677135 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.02400002096 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.516853932584 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 582.3 705.55239521 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.5081539756 57.8364921388 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.642857143 119.503703932 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4285714286 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.92857142857 5.70786347227 139% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.209786616005 0.218282227539 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0742635607273 0.0743258471296 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0669611739624 0.0701772020484 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.117910973274 0.128457276422 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0589556148518 0.0628817314937 94% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.3799401198 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.52 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.96 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.