Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.Write a response in which you discuss the e

Essay topics:

Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.
Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is base

Government funding is a very valuable resource to promote a nation’s economic, intelligent, and cultural growth. As centers of a country, major cities play important roles in terms of the country’s prosperity. I agree that it is necessary but not sufficient to ensure these cities to receive finncial aid needed from the government, however, not because it preserves a nation’s cultural trations.

To begin with, fiancial support to major cities is indeed fundamental to a growth of a nation. However, the reason does not lie in its role to preserve culture. On the contrary, I think traditional culture tends to lose its sites in big cities because of the fast-changing life there. For instance, it is at China’s big cities where changes happens first. With influence of modernization, many archeatectures and traditional cultural elements have disappeared in the streets of Beijing and Shang Hai. However, this doesn’t imply that cities should not receive any funding from the government. In general, major cities are the economic and cultural centers of a certain country such as China’s cosmopolitan Beijing and Shang Hai. Money received from the government can be used to promote these cities’ infrustruacture, education, medical care, environment,cultural activities, and etc. For instance, Beijing and Shang Hai have received a substantial amount of finacial support from the central government, and as a result, these two cities’ have been constructiong more efficient transportation systems, improving medical conditions, and improving the air quality, which in return has continuously help these two cities prosper and stimulate the growth of their adjcent areas. However, I

However, allocating these financial resources is not sufficient to make sure a country will thrive. Afterall, these major cities are only a very small proportion of the country, and it is vital to find a balance between the cities and the rural areas. We simply cannot ignore the rural areas where usually are underdeveloped and financial help are urgently need. Take China’s rural area as an example, there are still many children who are not able to receive proper education simply due to the poverty or due to the difficulty of traveling to schools. If government funding can be put into these sectors, I believe it will help bridge the gigantic gap between the lives of cities and rural areas and hopefully to reach a balance in the future. What is more, cities usually generats more revenue than rural areas where resources are already very limited. Therefore, these rural areas needs more attention and supports to advance.

In conclusion, because of major cities unique contribution to a country’s advancedment in different aspects, it is very beneficial for them to receive extra funding from the government. While that is conducive, we cannot ignore the less developed rural areas where aide is more necessary, and we need to endeavor to reduce the difference beween the cities and the poor areas.

Votes
Average: 3.4 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 15, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...;s cultural trations. To begin with, fiancial support to major cities is inde...
^^
Line 3, column 877, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , cultural
...re, education, medical care, environment,cultural activities, and etc. For instance, Beij...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 899, Rule ID: AND_ETC[1]
Message: Use simply 'etc.'.
Suggestion: etc.
... care, environment,cultural activities, and etc. For instance, Beijing and Shang Hai hav...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1225, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'helped'.
Suggestion: helped
...ality, which in return has continuously help these two cities prosper and stimulate ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 101, Rule ID: AFTERALL[1]
Message: Did you mean 'after all'?
Suggestion: After all
...ent to make sure a country will thrive. Afterall, these major cities are only a very sma...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, so, still, therefore, while, for instance, i think, in conclusion, in general, such as, as a result, on the contrary, to begin with, what is more

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 14.8657303371 135% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 29.0 33.0505617978 88% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 58.6224719101 94% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 12.9106741573 163% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2578.0 2235.4752809 115% => OK
No of words: 478.0 442.535393258 108% => OK
Chars per words: 5.39330543933 5.05705443957 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67581127817 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.11767427083 2.79657885939 111% => OK
Unique words: 236.0 215.323595506 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.493723849372 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 822.6 704.065955056 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.4704296055 60.3974514979 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.761904762 118.986275619 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7619047619 23.4991977007 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.09523809524 5.21951772744 155% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.310884729005 0.243740707755 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101257248539 0.0831039109588 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0482339854401 0.0758088955206 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.200341002988 0.150359130593 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0747597817458 0.0667264976115 112% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.1392134831 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.8420337079 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.1743820225 108% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.28 12.1639044944 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.66 8.38706741573 103% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 100.480337079 118% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.