The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The director proposed to build more domitories based on the fact that the enrollment of the college is growing drastically, that the affordability of the apartments is low, and that new dorms will attract more potential students. These arguments sound plausible at first glance; however, with a deeper investigation, they are rife with holes and flaws.
First of all, the director assumed the increase in enrollment will lead into a larger demand for dorm buildings. However, before this connection can be established, the college needs to collect data on how many available school dorms there are and how many students will graduate in the coming years. If there are many students who are living in the dorm will graduate, there will be many newly availble dorms on campus. Before building new buildings, it will be wise to consider whether these newly available dorms will serve the capacity of the growing enrollment. Plus, how will the school be able to predict all the potential students are planning to live in the dorms? How many of these incoming students are from local areas and will be living with their family? How many of these students from other areas will rent apartments off campus? These data will help the school to find out the necessity of building new building.
Secondly, the director argued that the average rent is considerably high and these off-campus apartments are expensive for students to afford. Here, the director assumed that these apartments are all for students and that students will rent them without any roommates. What if the appartments that are in areas that are farther away from the school is more expensive? What if the student-targeted apartments have considerably reasonable prices? What is more, the sizes of these apartments are unclear. If most of these apartments are large, will students be able to share the rent with fellow students, in which case will lower their housing expenses and potentially affordable for students?
Last but not the least, the director assumed that newer school dorms will attract more students to enroll in the school. However, there are many factors in play in terms of whether students decide to study in Buckingham College, such as teaching resources, tuition rates, and funding opportunities, and ect. It is presumptuous to believe that new dorms will increase the likelyhood of higher enrollment. What’s more, will these new dorms keep the same rent or raise the price? If these new dorms cost more for students, and will this make student hesitate to stay in them?
In conclusion, constructiong new dorming buildings appear to be a good idea for the students as well as the shool’s enrollment. However, many more factors need to be considered and many questions need to be answered to make this proposal valid.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: If there are many students who are living in the dorm will graduate, there will be many newly availble dorms on campus.
Error: availble Suggestion: available
Sentence: What if the appartments that are in areas that are farther away from the school is more expensive?
Error: appartments Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: It is presumptuous to believe that new dorms will increase the likelyhood of higher enrollment.
Error: likelyhood Suggestion: likelihood
Sentence: In conclusion, constructiong new dorming buildings appear to be a good idea for the students as well as the shool's enrollment.
Error: constructiong Suggestion: construction
Error: dorming Suggestion: No alternate word
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 463 350
No. of Characters: 2281 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.639 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.927 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.572 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.13 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.602 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.609 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.321 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.485 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 448, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ts have considerably reasonable prices? What is more, the sizes of these apartments ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, well, in conclusion, such as, as well as, first of all, what is more
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2356.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 463.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08855291577 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63868890866 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70494711485 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 204.123752495 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.438444924406 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 715.5 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.0272213523 57.8364921388 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.434782609 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1304347826 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.159564527851 0.218282227539 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0556814972175 0.0743258471296 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0365629842351 0.0701772020484 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105171698764 0.128457276422 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0233769404366 0.0628817314937 37% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.