The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.
"A recent study rating 300 male and female advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than six hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. On the basis of this study, we recommend that businesses hire only people who need less than six hours of sleep per night."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
An article in a business magazine stated that employees who need six hours or less than that per night should be hired to increase profit margins and efficiency. it is stated that those executives who sleep less than six hours growth is faster and gain high profits. However,before the recommendation can be properly evaluated, the following questions must be answered.
Firstly, is the work of advertising executives from recent study comparable to the particular businesses that hire the executives? In other words, if the work done by them can't be related to their businesses the study may be not be useful or applicable to them. For example, if the work done by executives from the evidence takes more hours when compared to other firms then, it is not required to select the persons who sleep less than six hours.The persons who sleep more than six hours can also do the work of their firms. if the above scenario is true,the recommendation doesn't hold water.
Secondly, can the capacity of all the persons be same? it means the amount of work done by people varies from person to person. some may complete the work in less than average time and some may possibly take more time. it may not depend on the number of hours they sleep but the capacity of the person who does amount of required work in stipulated time. it also depends on the work that is performed. The work from evidence may be different from firms work, where the time possibly changes . if the above is true, the conclusion drawn in original argument is weakened.
Thirdly, can the efficiency of a person be related to the amount of sleep hours ?In other way, there are some people who take more amount of time to sleep and work in less hours efficiently. And there are people who sleep for few hours and take ample of time to finish the work. And also according to human tendency, if the body doesn't get enough amount of sleep they may be irritated or not in good state which results in erraneous work. due to the condition to sleep less than six hours, some may make you believe that they can sleep for six hours and it is sufficient and gives an incomplete work. due to their irritated behaviour,it may result in the company's work environment. if the above scenario comes true, it results in the weakening of the evidence.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to its reliance on unwarranted assumptions . if the author is able to provide more evidence, then it will be possible to fully evaluate the viability of the proposed recommendation to hire executives who sleep less than six hours by business firm.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 467 350
No. of Characters: 2113 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.649 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.525 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.459 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 122 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 42.455 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 23.727 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.818 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.45 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.712 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.195 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 79, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun hours is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...ed that employees who need six hours or less than that per night should be hired to ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 163, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...increase profit margins and efficiency. it is stated that those executives who sle...
^^
Line 1, column 275, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , before
...is faster and gain high profits. However,before the recommendation can be properly eval...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 173, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...n other words, if the work done by them cant be related to their businesses the stud...
^^^^
Line 3, column 448, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...e persons who sleep less than six hours.The persons who sleep more than six hours c...
^^^
Line 3, column 527, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...rs can also do the work of their firms. if the above scenario is true,the recommen...
^^
Line 3, column 556, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...eir firms. if the above scenario is true,the recommendation doesnt hold water. Se...
^^^^
Line 3, column 576, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ove scenario is true,the recommendation doesnt hold water. Secondly, can the capaci...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 56, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...he capacity of all the persons be same? it means the amount of work done by people...
^^
Line 5, column 129, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Some
...by people varies from person to person. some may complete the work in less than aver...
^^^^
Line 5, column 191, Rule ID: MIGHT_PERHAPS[1]
Message: Use simply 'may', 'possibly'.
Suggestion: may; possibly
...work in less than average time and some may possibly take more time. it may not depend on th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 191, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'may'.
Suggestion: may
...work in less than average time and some may possibly take more time. it may not depend on th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 220, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...e and some may possibly take more time. it may not depend on the number of hours t...
^^
Line 5, column 356, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...nt of required work in stipulated time. it also depends on the work that is perfor...
^^
Line 5, column 491, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ms work, where the time possibly changes . if the above is true, the conclusion dr...
^^
Line 5, column 494, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...work, where the time possibly changes . if the above is true, the conclusion drawn...
^^
Line 7, column 82, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...e related to the amount of sleep hours ?In other way, there are some people who ta...
^^
Line 7, column 168, Rule ID: LESS_DOLLARSMINUTESHOURS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer hours'?
Suggestion: fewer hours
...ore amount of time to sleep and work in less hours efficiently. And there are people who s...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 168, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun hours is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...ore amount of time to sleep and work in less hours efficiently. And there are people...
^^^^
Line 7, column 330, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ccording to human tendency, if the body doesnt get enough amount of sleep they may be ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 440, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Due
... state which results in erraneous work. due to the condition to sleep less than six...
^^^
Line 7, column 602, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Due
...ufficient and gives an incomplete work. due to their irritated behaviour,it may res...
^^^
Line 7, column 634, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , it
...e work. due to their irritated behaviour,it may result in the companys work environ...
^^^
Line 7, column 683, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...esult in the companys work environment. if the above scenario comes true, it resul...
^^
Line 9, column 117, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... its reliance on unwarranted assumptions . if the author is able to provide more e...
^^
Line 9, column 120, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...s reliance on unwarranted assumptions . if the author is able to provide more evid...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, for example, in conclusion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2170.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 461.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.70715835141 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63367139033 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59381850272 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.420824295011 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 686.7 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.6596941544 57.8364921388 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.6363636364 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9545454545 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.95454545455 5.70786347227 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 26.0 5.25449101796 495% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.20943572967 0.218282227539 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0674513733643 0.0743258471296 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.070272031715 0.0701772020484 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131880067257 0.128457276422 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.046915481632 0.0628817314937 75% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 14.3799401198 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.04 12.5979740519 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.44 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 12.3882235529 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.