The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area. Although only a small percentage of the land

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The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area. Although only a small percentage of the land will be sold to Smith, the proposed development will have disastrous consequences for our area. The company plans to build a small hotel on the land. Although they have promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary, there is no way that their plans will do anything but harm the sanctuary. There are no circumstances under which this sale will benefit our community, which relies on tourists who visit.”

This memo story conclude that Smith corporation's new small percentage of land will be threat for 300 bird species where they live an area belongs to Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. Their main aim should protect these bird species. However, author's myopic conclusion about Simith Corporation's new plan to build an small hotel on the land will be harmful is an only uncareful scrutiny. If we look at the author evidence that it prove unwarranted assumptions.

The first circumstance, the author did not give any information about how big is the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve, and what is the portion of the land that will be sold to Simith Corporation. Saying an only small percentage of the land is not a clear state for arriving a result. If we know the land is very big, and Simith Corporation's land is only tiny area on that land, It won't create any disastrous consequences for the bird species. This assumption only refutes the author's claim rather than bolster it.

Another question that needs to be raised is where is the 300 bird species live in the land. Where wil be the Simith Corporation's land on the area. Maybe a planning land to be sold is far from bird species; maybe it won't be harmful for bird species. On the other hand, this land is still not sold; they have still time to change the land to sell. If the current land that they would like to sell is close to bird species, then they may change it to other place. We don't have any clear assertion about this. If the author wants to allegate the Simith Corporation's land will be harmful for bird species, he/she has to answer where is the bird species live and where will be the Simith Corporation's land on the area. And if these two land close to each other, they should give another land to Simith Corporation to give more room for bird species.

Next, the author cites the fact that there will be no benefit to their community for this sale; small hotel building on the land will attract many tourists to visit primarily to see their magnificent bird population. The author's assumption still stands on vague claims. If more tourists visit their land, they will raise more money. And they can use that money to protect their Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. And the town would be more attractive thanks to this hotel. Moreover, other investors want to open another work areas in the town which will benefit their community giving more work options in the town.

In conclusion, the argument of selling small percentage of Youngtown Wildlife Preserve to Simith Corporation cause harmful effects for their bird species and won't get any benefitions for their community is unpersuasive as it stands. To prove a warranted assumption the author must provide clear evidence about the land measurement. He/she must also provide an information where is the exactly bird species live and how close will be the Simith Corporation land. Finally, to better evaluate the argument we would need more information about why the community will not get any benefition from establishing a new hotel and from tourists. After all these information we can say his/her implications are prove warranted assumptions or not.

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Average: 8.3 (3 votes)
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Sentence: On the other hand, this land is still not sold; they have still time to change the land to sell.
Description: The fragment have still time is rare

Sentence: In conclusion, the argument of selling small percentage of Youngtown Wildlife Preserve to Simith Corporation cause harmful effects for their bird species and won't get any benefitions for their community is unpersuasive as it stands.
Error: benefitions Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Finally, to better evaluate the argument we would need more information about why the community will not get any benefition from establishing a new hotel and from tourists.
Error: benefition Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
No. of Words: 549 350 (write the essay in half an hour.conclusion can be shorter)

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 549 350
No. of Characters: 2581 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.841 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.701 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.525 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.209 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.499 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5