The charts show the reasons for employees to take up part-time studying while workingand how the part-time study programs arefunded.You should write at least 150 words.

Essay topics:

The charts show the reasons for employees to take up part-time studying while workingand how the part-time study programs arefunded.You should write at least 150 words.

The charts provides information about how the perception of adults towards part-time studying. The bar graph shows the varied reasons why they enroll in part-time classes, whereas the pie chart depicts their opinions about how the expenses are supposed to be distributed.

Looking closely at the bar graph, it can be seen that the different reasons why adults return to school can be divided into three main categories, namely for purely educational reasons, for job related purposes and for socialization. As can be observed, the number one reason why most adults go back to school is simply because of their interest in the subject (40%) and that they find learning fun (20%). There are also adults who go to school for work-related reasons, like obtaining additional qualifications (38%), finding it helpful for their present jobs (22%), improving their chances of getting a promotion (20%) and being able to acquire a new job (12%). Widening theirsocial circles is the least of the reasons why adults decide to return to school at only 9%.

On the other hand, the pie chart shows the proportion ofeducational expenses and how they should be distributed. The biggest portion of the costs (40%) is to be shouldered by the individual who is studying, while the remaining 60% is divided between the employer (35%) and the taxpayers (25%).

In the bar graph,Socialize andmeet other people (9%)the second category isEnjoy studying and interest in subject (20%) and interest in subject (40%) the third category is for job purposes. For job promotion 20% helpful for current job at 22% gain qualification (38%).

The pie chart opinion about who should pay. Since the individual is going to benefit, the individual should shoulder the biggest percentage at 40%. Since the employer will benefit, they should shoulder 35%. Since the society as a whole will benefit from a better labour force, they should also pay 25%.

Votes
Average: 9.3 (4 votes)

Comments

Sentence: Widening theirsocial circles is the least of the reasons why adults decide to return to school at only 9.
Error: theirsocial Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: On the other hand, the pie chart shows the proportion ofeducational expenses and how they should be distributed.
Error: ofeducational Suggestion: ?

Sentence: In the bar graph,Socialize andmeet other people 9the second category isEnjoy studying and interest in subject 20 and interest in subject 40 the third category is for job purposes.
Error: andmeet Suggestion: ?
Error: isEnjoy Suggestion: ?

flaws:
Last two paragraphs could be removed. Write the essay in 20 minutes.

better to have 4 paragraphs:

para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion

sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graph-below-gives-information-about…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/you-should-spend-about-20-minutes-t…

or
para 1: introduction
para 2: conclusion
para 3: body 1
para 4: body 2

sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/climograph-below-shows-average-mont…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graphs-below-show-types-music-album…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/table-below-gives-information-about…

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 14 10
No. of Words: 316 200
No. of Characters: 1520 1000
No. of Different Words: 155 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.216 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.81 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.66 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.445 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.351 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.658 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.125 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4