More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The problem of an increasing number of people are suffering from obesity is of concern for the government and citizens. Some suggest increasing the price of fattening foods in order to address the problem. As for me, I believe there are other methods can do a better job.
Raising the price of junk food can certainly help to shape consumers’ eating habits in some extent. Firstly, consumers would seek alternative options over sugary and fast foods because of a limited budget. If the unhealthy foods, such as pizzas, burgers and soft drink cost too much, people would rather buy the cheap and health products so they can minimise the expense, which in turn modifying eating behaviours. Secondly, increasing the price of junk foods is one way to tell grocery industries to manufacture, for example, sugar-free drink and fat-free sandwich which more concern people’s health condition.
However, there are more methods can ease people’s weight problem. To start with, the government should consider investing money on fitness facilities. For example, building more fitness centres and sports stadiums will encourage people to do exercise. Physical activities significantly assist trainers to burn fat and calories inside their bodies, thereby effectively promoting activating lifestyles and reducing overweight problems. Besides that, professional counsellors should give advice on healthy diet to the general public so that people can pay attention to their dietary habits.
To sum up, raising the price of unhealthy foods is not the only way to help obese people. The government should put more effort on the improvement of public facilities or services to solve people’s weight problems.
The problem of an increasing number of people are suffering from obesity is of concern for the government and citizens.
The problem of an increasing number of people who are suffering from obesity is of concern for the government and citizens.
The problem of an increasing number of people suffering from obesity is of concern for the government and citizens.
I believe there are other methods can do a better job.
I believe there are other methods that can do a better job.
people would rather buy the cheap and health products so they can minimise the expense, which in turn modifying eating behaviours.
people would rather buy the cheap and health products so they can minimise the expense, which in turn modifies eating behaviours.
sugar-free drink and fat-free sandwich which more concern people’s health condition.
sugar-free drink and fat-free sandwich which concern people’s health conditions more .
sugar-free drink and fat-free sandwich which put more concerns on people’s health conditions.
there are more methods can ease people’s weight problem.
there are more methods which can ease people’s weight problems.
more methods can ease people’s weight problem.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Be careful to use 'which'. after which, there is a verb following:
a noun + which + verb or
a sentence, + which + verb
Don't put two verbs in one sentence, like:
The problem of an increasing number of people are suffering from obesity is of concern for the government and citizens
there are other methods can do a better job.
there are more methods can ease people’s weight problem.
Double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
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also you need to put more content if possible. More content means higher marks. Read a real story by a testbig user why more content:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/some-people-prefer-spend-their-live…
try to put five paragraphs if you can:
paragraph 1: introduction -- explain in your own words about the issue and give a thesis statement at the end. Give a reasonable not a dogmatic statement.
paragraph 2: reason 1 + why reason 1 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.
paragraph 3: reason 2 + why reason 2 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.
paragraph 4: qualification -- moderate your position. This may involve a sentence beginning with "but" or "however"...
paragraph 5: conclusion -- reinforce the thesis.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 265 350
No. of Characters: 1392 1500
No. of Different Words: 164 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.035 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.253 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.625 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.929 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.552 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.556 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.052 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5