Sport has turned out as a multi-billion-dollar industry thanks to the involvement of business firms, which economically benefits athletes. While I accept that this tendency exerts advantageous impacts on the society, I believe that it also brings about several drawbacks.
On the one hand, when money is poured into sports, it acts as a catalyst for a positive development by two major reasons. Regarding to athletes, their participation in sport merchandizing, such as the endorsement of sporting goods, is believed to substantially upgrade their incomes. As a result, they may find it easier to earn a living and assure a decent life, compared to their predecessors in the past and, therefore, can completely focus on their career and boost their achievement. Regarding to the nation’s sports, its prosperity is expected to eradicate the stereotype that athletes never reap an adequate remuneration to their dedications and efforts. Therefore, this will motivate more youngsters to take up sports, which may provide a huge number of potential sport professions for the country.
On the other hand, when sport is transformed into a business, it also contributes to the emergence of many problems. In fact, if athletes are not mature enough, they will jeopardize their careers by eroding moral character. Firstly, the engaging economic output is sometimes prioritized over the Olympic ideal by professions. Consequently, this leads to a win-at-all-cost attitude, which drives sportsmen to banned manipulations, like using performance-enhancing drugs. Secondly, a more serious challenge stems from such prohibited business as gambling on sporting events, which may make athletes turn into crime. Indeed, it has been witnessed that many football players were disqualified from participation due to getting involved in sports betting and match fixing conspiracies.
In conclusion, I opine that when people commercialize sports, not only does this create beneficial effects but also promote many obstacles.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 273, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...it also brings about several drawbacks. On the one hand, when money is poured in...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, firstly, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, in conclusion, in fact, such as, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 13.1623246493 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 7.85571142285 76% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 24.0651302605 112% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 41.998997996 105% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.3376753507 108% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1715.0 1615.20841683 106% => OK
No of words: 304.0 315.596192385 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.64144736842 5.12529762239 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.17559525986 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.38010508276 2.80592935109 120% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 176.041082164 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.638157894737 0.561755894193 114% => OK
syllable_count: 528.3 506.74238477 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 5.43587174349 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.10420841683 238% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 27.0321992431 49.4020404114 55% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 122.5 106.682146367 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7142857143 20.7667163134 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.7142857143 7.06120827912 166% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.13932501781 0.244688304435 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0441871381454 0.084324248473 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0309846401734 0.0667982634062 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0747926929136 0.151304729494 49% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0272788307343 0.056905535591 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 13.0946893788 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 50.2224549098 83% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.43 12.4159519038 124% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.13 8.58950901804 118% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 78.4519038076 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 9.78957915832 123% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.