Nowadays, films and computer games are often designed with violent content, which tends to attract a great number of followers. While I admit these are just forms of entertainment, I do not think it should be made available for everyone.
Some people argue that violent films and games are harmless because they think they are not real. Scenarios in films and games are way from reality, and most rational individuals are unlikely to copy these activities given their ability to distinguish them from their own lives. Moreover, since these forms of recreation can help people relax and gain vicarious pleasure from the heroic stories, it should be everyone’s right to consume them. In this sense, these kinds of virtual violence are not only innocuous, but also beneficial in terms of enriching people’s life, so the idea of banning them seems unreasonable.
However, I believe violence in films and games can cause damage to vulnerable undeveloped minds. Although this sort of violence only exists in imagination, the adverse impact on people’s emotion can be great because it encourages aggressive behavior and criminal conduct. For example, children who are not mature enough to judge between fantasy and reality may be desensitized to fights and murders after being fed a daily dose of violent content. Many children thus become interested in dangerous fighting and weapons, perhaps in emulation of films and games, thereby posing a threat to the safety of other individuals and the society as a whole.
To conclude, violent films and games are harmless to responsible adults, but they should not be accessible to everyone, especially children.
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and most rational individuals are unlikely to copy these activities given their ability to distinguish them from their own lives.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 266 350
No. of Characters: 1352 1500
No. of Different Words: 159 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.039 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.083 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.588 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 98 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.605 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.392 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.609 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5