The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people ten to twenty-five years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The writer of the article avers that the company named Whirlwind can sell a huge amount of video games by presenting several proofs for his argument. Although these supporting points seem to be reasonable at the first glance, they are just based on logical fallacies and unwarranted assumptions. Therefore, if the author cannot strengthen his opinion with more reliable data and evidence, the main argument of this article would not be considered cogent.
To begin with, the quoted survey cannot affirm that the company's products will be attractive to the majority of gamers. Although the survey mentions that such video-game players are inclined to good graphics, there is no statement that the graphic condition is a decisive factor that influences the game purchasers. Diverse game players have various preferences for different games and some of them are more likely to buy such games with good storylines, attractive game characters, and simple interfaces than those games with lifelike graphics. While I cannot deny that impressive visual effects are one of the factors that attract gamers, it is hard to say that the graphic quality is the only point that video gamers are concerned with.
In addition, although we assume that the gamers investigated by the survey would truly be inclined to the games produced by Whirlwind because of their graphics, they may not acknowledge the presence of such games easily. According to the article, Whirlwind has targeted the specific age-group composed of individuals from ten to twenty-five years old. There is no evidence that this age group represents the gamers who were questioned in the aforementioned survey. While the author is confirmed that the age-group targeted by Whirlwind has purchasing power, it cannot be said that this age group is specifically attracted by the games with high-quality graphics. Besides, although some of them are influenced by that aspect, most of the teenagers and early twenties cannot spend a lot of money on buying games as they are not economically independent or lacking enough spare money. Furthermore, it should be also noted that it cannot be affirmed that these youngsters have the newest computers that are needed to play the games with great graphics. Thus, it can be stated that the real effect of the advertising campaign of Whirlwind is quite doubtful.
Furthermore, it is also suspicious if the dramatic increase in the sales of Whirlwind games would happen. While the writer says that only a few months are needed to prove this expectation, this argument is not convincing based on several factors. Certainly, the aforementioned points already betrayed that the actual sales may not be as high as the author predicts, the period of a few months itself is also problematic. Although the firm has succeeded in producing proper games and targeting appropriate purchasers, the real boom is not always accompanied right after the release. This point is not mentioned in the article
In conclusion, as previously mentioned, the article has to be based on more specific data and evidence to make the main idea cogent. It is also not confirmed that this editorial can reach potential buyers.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 517 350
No. of Characters: 2620 1500
No. of Different Words: 245 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.768 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.068 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.702 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 192 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 139 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 113 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 73 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.619 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.7 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.516 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rticle would not be considered cogent. To begin with, the quoted survey cannot ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...that video gamers are concerned with. In addition, although we assume that the...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...mpaign of Whirlwind is quite doubtful. Furthermore, it is also suspicious if th...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... point is not mentioned in the article In conclusion, as previously mentioned, ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, first, furthermore, if, may, so, then, therefore, thus, while, as to, in addition, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 34.0 19.6327345309 173% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 13.6137724551 162% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 28.8173652695 170% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2670.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 517.0 441.139720559 117% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16441005803 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76839952204 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78901267684 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 204.123752495 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.485493230174 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 830.7 705.55239521 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 2.70958083832 369% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.2171469903 57.8364921388 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.5 119.503703932 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.85 23.324526521 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.3 5.70786347227 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.274238936873 0.218282227539 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0832448478266 0.0743258471296 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0504027449521 0.0701772020484 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.140949291518 0.128457276422 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0569713586134 0.0628817314937 91% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.3799401198 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.12 8.32208582834 110% => OK
difficult_words: 139.0 98.500998004 141% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.