The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.
"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
There is nothing more natural than the fact that a store owner thinks their businesses. His fundamental task, as a manager in his own business, is profit maximization. So it is indispensable fact that he should analyse the number of shoppers in his store and he should handle the problems that causes to decrease in his sales. However, in this letter there are some significant questions needed to be answered before taking an action.
First of all, there is a hidden assumption that the amount of the litter and vandalism throughout the plaza is because of the skateboarders. There may be a correlation between the number of skateboarders in the plaza and the amount of garbage and the events that harm the plaza ,but it is not clear if this relationship is a cause-effect relationship or there is just a correlation between these two things. These vandalistic behaviours should be monitored via security cameras and if they really spring from the skateboarders’ activities , then there may be a such regulation that skateboarder users cannot enter the plaza. However, it cannot be prohibited throughout the city just because of the plaza owner’s complaints because there may be some other people that like these skateboarders. Before taking such important decision all city members’ thoughts should be taken into the consideration.
Secondly, in some sectors there are some seasonal decreases in the businesses. How can they be sure that the dramatic decrease derives from the number of skateboarders. Maybe it was the summer season and significant amount of city members went to holiday and this is the reason of decreases in the business or maybe there is a country level economic crisis in that times and people no longer prefer going shooping as they preferred before.
Finally, there may be some another reason that really causes to this vandalism and since it is correlated with the popularity of skateboarding ,skateboarding activity which is on the surface can be seen as a reason. For example ,let us think about the following scenario: very famous rap artist made a new song and it gives people courage to vandalise everything that surround them and in his song clip there are some skateboarders vandalizes everywhere. Because of the popularity of this singer , all teenagers start to use skateboarding and to vandalize everywhere in order to reveal their bad feelings. Now, is the skateboarding the cause of this vandalism? Of course, the answer is no and if it is so why they are prohibiting the skateboarding?
All in all, a store owner should take all of the things that I mentioned into the consideration before taking an action and they should elaborate on this issue by analysing the local and country level problems that may cause this decrease and these vandalistic behaviours .After being sure in the reasons of this issue, they should make their head-shot attempt, otherwise without understanding the deep essential reasons and making decision by just observing the surface activities they, store owners, cannot overcome these problems.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
1. argument 1 and argument 3 are duplicated.
2. also need to argue:
Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 502 350
No. of Characters: 2511 1500
No. of Different Words: 225 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.733 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.002 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.87 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 182 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 67 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.421 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.279 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.295 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.488 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 302, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'decreasing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: decreasing
... should handle the problems that causes to decrease in his sales. However, in this letter t...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 62, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s a hidden assumption that the amount of the litter and vandalism throughout the ...
^^
Line 3, column 279, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...rbage and the events that harm the plaza ,but it is not clear if this relationship...
^^
Line 3, column 545, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... from the skateboarders' activities , then there may be a such regulation th...
^^
Line 3, column 546, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...from the skateboarders' activities , then there may be a such regulation tha...
^^
Line 5, column 183, Rule ID: THE_FALL_SEASON[1]
Message: Use simply 'summer'.
Suggestion: summer
...e number of skateboarders. Maybe it was the summer season and significant amount of city members...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 226, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... summer season and significant amount of city members went to holiday and this is...
^^
Line 7, column 129, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... it is correlated with the popularity of skateboarding ,skateboarding activity wh...
^^
Line 7, column 144, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ed with the popularity of skateboarding ,skateboarding activity which is on the s...
^^
Line 7, column 229, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ace can be seen as a reason. For example ,let us think about the following scenari...
^^
Line 7, column 497, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...Because of the popularity of this singer , all teenagers start to use skateboardin...
^^
Line 7, column 688, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...his vandalism? Of course, the answer is no and if it is so why they are prohibitin...
^^
Line 8, column 39, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... All in all, a store owner should take all of the things that I mentioned into the consi...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 49, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ll, a store owner should take all of the things that I mentioned into the conside...
^^
Line 8, column 178, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...elaborate on this issue by analysing the local and country level problems that ma...
^^
Line 8, column 274, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ecrease and these vandalistic behaviours .After being sure in the reasons of this ...
^^
Line 8, column 275, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: After
...rease and these vandalistic behaviours .After being sure in the reasons of this issue...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, however, if, may, really, second, secondly, so, then, for example, of course, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 54.0 28.8173652695 187% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2583.0 2260.96107784 114% => OK
No of words: 502.0 441.139720559 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.14541832669 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7334296765 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.02719717644 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.46812749004 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 819.0 705.55239521 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 110.981716323 57.8364921388 192% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.5 119.503703932 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.8888888889 23.324526521 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.16666666667 5.70786347227 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 17.0 5.25449101796 324% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.135811330739 0.218282227539 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.048507212905 0.0743258471296 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0309804687941 0.0701772020484 44% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0750751967747 0.128457276422 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0274859251586 0.0628817314937 44% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.8 14.3799401198 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.3550499002 91% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.