The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Relannian newspaper.
Industry analysts report that the number of dairy farms in Relanna has increased by 25 percent over the last decade. Also, recent innovations in milking technology make it possible for farmers to significantly increase the efficiency of the milking process, allowing them to collect more milk in less time with minimal human intervention. In fact, data from the Relannian Department of Agriculture indicate that labor costs at the majority of Relannian dairy farms are actually lower now than they were ten years ago. Despite increased efficiency and lower labor costs, a carton of cream — a dairy product made from milk — at the local food market costs twice as much as it did two years ago. The only explanation for this dramatic price increase is that farmers are inflating the price of cream to increase their profits.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
It might seem logical at first glance to agree with the letter to the editor of Relannian Newspaper which presents quite sophisticated facts to prove the point that, the farmers of Relenna are inflating the prices of a few dairy products like cream to increase their profits. But, I believe that close scrutiny of these facts are required to be completely assertain of the conclusion which the letter is claiming. It might be possible that various other explainations can be given for the same fact which is, as of now, blostering the claim that the farmers are inflating the price of cream to gain unscurplous profits. To support the conclusion the author of the letter has provided two main reasons. Industry analysts report which talks about increase in number of farms over the last decade and the recent innovations which has reduced the labor-cost and some data from the Relannian Department of Agriculture blostering this claim.
First of all, the industry analysts report which showcases a 25% increase in number of dairy farms is presenting incomplete details. It doesn’t touch upon the topic of number of animals avaiable and the temporal change in the maintainance cost and the quantity of milk production from thoese amimals over the decade. It might be a possibility that, maintaintaince cost of these amimals have increased over the past decade. As a result of which, farmers of Relannian who used to keep 20-30 animals per dairy farm have reduced their size to 2-3 animals only. Therefore, even if the number of farms might have gone up, the quanity of animals in the area have remained the same or might have even decreased. As already mentioned before, due to the high maintainence cost of these animals, the cost of the dairy products liek cream migh get increased.
Moving on to the second reason, which supports the claim of farmers inflating the price is - instead of innovative advancement in the technology of milk production, which has reduced the labour cost, the cost of cream is not reducing. But nither the author of the letter nor the data from the Relannian Department of Agriculture is presenting any information about the technological costs involved in production of milk. Moreover, there is no description at all about the technology involved in preparing the cream from the milk. There can be various other explanation to this stuations which has resulted in the increased price of the cream. Due to the obscurity of the data presented, its difficult to say, if the overall production cost has increased or decreased. Consider the situation, when people who were their in dairy farming industry a decade ago are moving to secondary or tertiary sector for job opportunities which has reduced the workforce in dairy farming. Under this circumstance, adpoting technology is the only solution which the farmers can afford. In this situation, opting for technology is not the option by-choice but a option which was forcebly adopted due to the circumstances. Or in another situation, the technology used in preparing, preserving and transporting cream has hiked from 10 dollor to 1000 dollor, in past ten years. This could also have resulted in increased price of the cream.
In sum, the facts presented to bloster the claim that farmers are incentivising themseleves by increasing the price of cream in the market, stands on a lose ground and is quite obscure in stating the facts. More elaborated delails and data is needed to support the claim and come to a conclusion, until then various explanations can be given for the presented facts which would not yield any concreate results.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 603 350
No. of Characters: 2959 1500
No. of Different Words: 256 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.955 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.907 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.716 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 197 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 155 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 113 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 81 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.217 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.983 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.522 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.479 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 219, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...of Relenna are inflating the prices of a few dairy products like cream to increas...
^^
Line 1, column 298, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: scrutiny
...ease their profits. But, I believe that close scrutiny of these facts are required to be compl...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1143, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...hnology is not the option by-choice but a option which was forcebly adopted due t...
^
Line 7, column 151, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...price of cream in the market, stands on a lose ground and is quite obscure in stating ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, moreover, second, so, then, therefore, as for, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 13.6137724551 169% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 97.0 55.5748502994 175% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3028.0 2260.96107784 134% => OK
No of words: 602.0 441.139720559 136% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.02990033223 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.95335121839 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78737926261 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 265.0 204.123752495 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.440199335548 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 935.1 705.55239521 133% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.5672995078 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.652173913 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.1739130435 23.324526521 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.08695652174 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.222267419935 0.218282227539 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0693653058678 0.0743258471296 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0659040408865 0.0701772020484 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130870922728 0.128457276422 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0714131675212 0.0628817314937 114% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.19 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 129.0 98.500998004 131% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.