The following appeared in a memo from the Mayor of the city of Hillview:
“In order to alleviate the serious unemployment problem in our town, we should encourage Autotech to build its automobile manufacturing plant in our area. The Hillview landfill, which has been undeveloped for decades, is a perfect site for this plant. The building and staffing of this plant will put to work thousands of Hillview residents left unemployed after Computech computer software programming company abandoned its national facility last year. I am asking the City Council to authorize a large campaign to attract the company and offer significant tax incentives to make our town attractive to this giant of car manufacturing.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The mayor of Hillview City recently expressed his views that Autotech should build a new car manufacturing plant in the city, particularly on the undeveloped Hillview landfill. While the mayor's argument may appear convincing at first, it is based on various unstated assumptions. His claims that the plant construction would provide jobs for thousands of unemployed residents and that the Hillview landfill would be a "perfect location" for a new automobile plant need to be properly questioned.
First off, the mayor claims that the building of the plant would provide jobs for thousands of currently unemployed Hillview residents who formerly worked at Computech. This raises many questions. Are Computech's former employees even capable of doing the new work that Autotech would require in its plant construction? Would the new jobs offered by the plant construction be attractive to the currently unemployed residents? Have the residents found better jobs already? Are the residents still living in Hillview? If the answer to all of these questions was yes, the mayors claims would be strengthened as it would be realistic for the residents to work for Hillview.
The mayor's suggestion of Hillview landfill as a perfect site for construction must also be questioned. Investigating why the landfill has been left undeveloped for decades may be a good starting to point answer the question of whether an automoible plant could be build on the same land. It could very well be the case that the land is unusable due to toxins leached into the soil from toxic waste. Even if the automobile plant could be constructed on the land, it would also need to be validated whether the location of the new plant would be feasible for shipping and delivery of automobile parts and products. It could be the case that the landfill is in a location inaccesible by road or water.
In summary, the mayor needs to do some more work in validating some of the claims he makes, making sure to provide proper evidence and reasoning. Until the mayor does this, his argument would not be convincing to a shrewd audience.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
One more argument wanted.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 349 350
No. of Characters: 1723 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.322 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.937 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.77 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.529 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.363 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.533 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.12 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 188, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'mayors'' or 'mayor's'?
Suggestion: mayors'; mayor's
...ndeveloped Hillview landfill. While the mayors argument may appear convincing at first...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 417, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...and that the Hillview landfill would be a 'perfect location' for a new ...
^
Line 9, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'mayors'' or 'mayor's'?
Suggestion: mayors'; mayor's
...esidents to work for Hillview. The mayors suggestion of Hillview landfill as a pe...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 212, Rule ID: WHETHER[3]
Message: Wordiness: Shorten this phrase to the shortest possible suggestion.
Suggestion: whether; the question whether
... may be a good starting to point answer the question of whether an automoible plant could be build on t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 64, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...eeds to do some more work in validating some of the claims he makes, making sure to provide...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, may, so, still, then, well, while, in summary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1775.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 349.0 441.139720559 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.08595988539 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32221490584 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89233122608 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 168.0 204.123752495 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.481375358166 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 518.4 705.55239521 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.5736192449 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.411764706 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5294117647 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.64705882353 5.70786347227 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.178334249118 0.218282227539 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0682511185335 0.0743258471296 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0692464864841 0.0701772020484 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.123868224288 0.128457276422 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0883711254462 0.0628817314937 141% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.07 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.