The following appeared in a memo from the Mayor of the city of Hillview:
“In order to alleviate the serious unemployment problem in our town, we should encourage Autotech to build its automobile manufacturing plant in our area. The Hillview landfill, which has been undeveloped for decades, is a perfect site for this plant. The building and staffing of this plant will put to work thousands of Hillview residents left unemployed after Computech computer software programming company abandoned its national facility last year. I am asking the City Council to authorize a large campaign to attract the company and offer significant tax incentives to make our town attractive to this giant of car manufacturing.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The memo provided by the Mayor of the city of Hillview states that to lessen the unemployment rate in the town they should encourage a company named Autotech to build its automobile manufacturing plant in the landfill which is undeveloped since a period of time. Hereby, this would bring in jobs for many of the residents of town who were left unemployed after a computer software company,Computech abandoned them last year. The Mayor's request seems feasible at first but it lacks serious evidences and is dependent on assumptions that the building of a firm will help employ the resident of Hillview. If provided with the below mentioned two evidences then the Mayor can state his assertion more firmly.
Firstly, the Mayor states that the building of an automobile manufacturing plant will give work to the unemployed residents of town. But what if the automobile plant is fully automated and require only a handful of employees? If this happens so then the Mayor's suggestion is fully vain and would cause the town tremendous loss as even after giving a great mass of land from the town for building the manufacturing plant, the residents would not have any benefits from it. Therefore, the Mayor needs to clarify or provide evidences as to does the automobile company have any prerequistives and have they provided any number of employees they would require as many companies state the labour index for their firm.
Secondly, the memo points that the residents are umemployed because a computer software company abandoned its facility a year ago. The computer based company requires greatly skilled labor for its efficient performing as the software programming is highly arduous work and requires great brainpower. Is it that the employees at the computer firm were indolent and less skilled? If so then this would have seriously lead to the abandonement of the company. So,it would be better if the Mayor must have given proper evidences as to why the company abandoned its facility and whether was it because of the residents or were there any other reasons.
Lastly, the memo by the Mayor is ill-founded and based on many assumptions. The memo can be strongly supported if provided with the aforementioned evidences as by providing the evidences of how many job vacancies would be created if the manufacturing plant is constructed and also why was the computer software programming company shut down. If the Mayor successful can provide these evidences then his request to city council for attracting the car manufacturing will be totally feasible and have great influence on the unemployment rate.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 432 350
No. of Characters: 2151 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.559 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.979 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.778 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 141 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.954 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.368 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.552 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 248, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...e landfill which is undeveloped since a period of time. Hereby, this would bring in jobs for m...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 389, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , Computech
...ployed after a computer software company,Computech abandoned them last year. The Mayors re...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 603, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...l help employ the resident of Hillview. If provided with the below mentioned two e...
^^
Line 5, column 379, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...er firm were indolent and less skilled? If so then this would have seriously lead ...
^^
Line 5, column 416, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'leaded', 'led'.
Suggestion: leaded; led
...d? If so then this would have seriously lead to the abandonement of the company. So,...
^^^^
Line 5, column 459, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , it
...d to the abandonement of the company. So,it would be better if the Mayor must have ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2185.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 430.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08139534884 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8545230398 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.455813953488 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 685.8 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.2185927765 57.8364921388 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.5625 119.503703932 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.875 23.324526521 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.22824751621 0.218282227539 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0873189836119 0.0743258471296 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0985852504843 0.0701772020484 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.154042404195 0.128457276422 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0894280587957 0.0628817314937 142% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.05 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.