The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing.
"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well: since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand. Also, since the price of most types of clothing has increased in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The notion of pursuing sales in alpaca overcoat after securing a new fabric supplier seems promising and logical at first. The Sartorian previously can not produce the alpaca overcoat due to the difficulties of procuring the raw materials in a reliable manner. Upon close examinations, however, the vice president does not provide adequate information about the supplier to the purpose of restarting the production of the alpaca overcoat. Moreover, the author does not conduct any market prospect analysis before making the assumptions, so the statement of the vice president on this matter is incomplete and it needs to be closely reexamined.
The current demand of the alpaca overcoat might change overtime, for it has been five years since the last time the company produced the product. The vice president informs that the major competitor is no longer manufacturing this product. We can understand why the vice president is highly motivated with this condition, yet this superficial data can mislead the company and it will be unproductive if they restart the production of the alpaca overcoat. The vice president must first evaluate the reason on why the major competitor does not produce the product any longer. Perhaps, the demand of this product has been declining so much that the production cost of the product is much higher than the possible selling price of the product. Even if there is still a significant number of people that buy the product, the company must first analyzes whether the sale of the product with the recent demand combined with the actual production cost can result in a profitable and promising sales. Another possibilty is there might be another small company, which is much smaller in size compared to the major competitor, that is specialized in producing the alpaca overcoat and they already hold the majority of the sales of this product. When the Sartorian can not beat this small company, or they can not create the reliable marketing to the customers, the Sartorian will face hardship in selling the alpaca overcoat. Therefore, the vice president must carefully decide on the basis of current demand of the product and other small competitors that can be an obstacle for the company, and they must construct an apt plan in selling and promotion if the product is still deemed as profitable based on the correct analysis.
The vice president mentions that the price of most of types of clothing is increasing, and the price of the alpaca overcoat should be set on the same level of price. This strategy is possible if the product is indeed desirable and the level of sales in the market commensurates the other types of clothing mentioned. According to the discussion from the previous paragraph, the company must analyze first the actual demand of the product before setting the right amount of price on the product. If the demand is lower compared to other types of clothing, then the company must sell the product also in a lower price. The company won’t sell much of the products if the price is far too high than the actual worth of the product in the market. Furthermore, the competition of sales also must be put into the consideration. If the Sartorian wants to reenter the market of this product, yet there are other companies that hold the majority of the sales, then it is imperative for the company to set a lower price compared to those companies so the customers are willing to purchase the product. The price level must be on the correct level, and the vice president must first pinpoint the exact condition on the market and the competitors within the sales of the same product.
The last thing that need to be considered is the fabrics provided by the new supplier. The vice president does not mention the actual competency of the new supplier and the materials that they can provide to the company. The reason of the change in supplier is that the previous one was unreliable, so the vice president must make sure that the new one does not do the same mistakes. Additionally, the company must settle the information of the materials that are needed for the alpaca overcoat production, and the new supplier must have the adequate supplies of those materials. The company has done a pretty good job in preparing the plan to reintroduce the alpaca overcoat, yet they bneed first make sure the condition of the market, the price, and their suppliers.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 748 350
No. of Characters: 3606 1500
No. of Different Words: 252 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.23 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.821 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.544 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 255 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 199 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 136 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 83 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.769 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.423 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.654 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.367 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.514 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.132 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 240, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a reliable manner" with adverb for "reliable"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...iculties of procuring the raw materials in a reliable manner. Upon close examinations, however, the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1067, Rule ID: ADJECTIVE_IN_ATTRIBUTE[1]
Message: A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
Suggestion: smaller
...be another small company, which is much smaller in size compared to the major competitor, that ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 47, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the types') or simply say ''most types''.
Suggestion: most of the types; most types
...ce president mentions that the price of most of types of clothing is increasing, and the pric...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 88, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...e fabrics provided by the new supplier. The vice president does not mention the act...
^^^
Line 7, column 222, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...s that they can provide to the company. The reason of the change in supplier is tha...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, still, then, therefore
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 26.0 12.9520958084 201% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 85.0 55.5748502994 153% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3673.0 2260.96107784 162% => OK
No of words: 747.0 441.139720559 169% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.91700133869 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.22793465313 4.56307096286 115% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6415148532 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 272.0 204.123752495 133% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.364123159304 0.468620217663 78% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1159.2 705.55239521 164% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 22.0 8.76447105788 251% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 9.0 1.67365269461 538% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 54.6880881203 57.8364921388 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 141.269230769 119.503703932 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.7307692308 23.324526521 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.88461538462 5.70786347227 51% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.202615218516 0.218282227539 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0689397673355 0.0743258471296 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0307539448055 0.0701772020484 44% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.12582055309 0.128457276422 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0232967572663 0.0628817314937 37% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.3799401198 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 48.3550499002 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.85 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.01 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 141.0 98.500998004 143% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.