The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing."During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter

The author of the argument attempt to establish a direct relation between the sleeping hour of the worker and job accident in the manufacturing company. However, the author fails to provide a substantiate evidences for his assumptions and which are unwarranted as well. Also, the author came up with the false analogy by comparing one manufacturing companies with another company which also seem not so satisfying.
Firstly, the author compares the Quoit Manufacturing with the Panoply Industries plant without giving any information about what type of industries they are. If the Quiot Manufacturing is a Cement Industry while Panoply Industries is a dairy industry, it is obvious that there is high risk to the job workers as cement industry has very risky jobs to do by the workers. However, we also need to look at various other parameters of the industries regarding the safety of the workers like safety policy, safety instruments like helmets, jackets, masks etc. provided by the industry. Also, there is a huge impact of the machinery on the safety of the workers. The machineries used by the industry have their on features. Some are equipped with a highly safety guidelines while some are not. For example, In a Furniture industry, the new saw machine has been introduced which automatically shuts down with even a slight touch of a human skin. Many of the industries are using these type of saw chain machines while some are using that previous ones with little safety.
Secondly, the author mentioned experts views regarding the job accidents, while even the experts views can be denied easily as a false assumption. The less sleeping hour causing fatigue and sleep deprivation may be one of the factor to cause job accident but is not the only reason for job accidents. With no clue on the number of working hours the company offers, it is not convincing to come up with such conclusion. Six to Eight hours of working in a day is not so stressful to the workers. As mentioned earlier, other factors like companies machineries, safety instruments, skills of the workers, consciousness of workers toward work etc. are also other factors which need to be looked up. The workers of the Quoit industry may be alcoholic and drug addict, and with less focus on the job with their subconscious mind may be the reason for the accident as well.
Thirdly, the conclusion made up with such unwarranted evidences is not so convincing. Sleeping is rather a habit formed from a long time ago. Shortening one more hour of the job do not mean the worker will use it to go home and take rest. What if they use that time to do part time job in another place which would make them even more tired. Also, the author relates the productivity of the company with the no of job accidents which is contradictory. Productivity is more related with the workers efficiency, machineries, marketing, employees and employers efforts which the author fails to mention in the argument.
Summing up, the evidences provided by the author is not so convincing. It would have been better if the author have provided more evidences along with other solutions to decrease the rate of job accidents.

Votes
Average: 8.3 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 191, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...y. However, the author fails to provide a substantiate evidences for his assumptions and which...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 556, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Provided
...ments like helmets, jackets, masks etc. provided by the industry. Also, there is a huge ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 59, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...or mentioned experts views regarding the job accidents, while even the experts vi...
^^
Line 3, column 388, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'coming'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'convince' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: coming
...he company offers, it is not convincing to come up with such conclusion. Six to Eight h...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 272, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e rest. What if they use that time to do part time job in another place which wou...
^^
Line 4, column 274, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...rest. What if they use that time to do part time job in another place which would make t...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 410, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...he productivity of the company with the no of job accidents which is contradictory...
^^
Line 4, column 492, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'workers'' or 'worker's'?
Suggestion: workers'; worker's
.... Productivity is more related with the workers efficiency, machineries, marketing, emp...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, look, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, well, while, for example

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 79.0 55.5748502994 142% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2638.0 2260.96107784 117% => OK
No of words: 539.0 441.139720559 122% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89424860853 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81833721656 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76244406924 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 204.123752495 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.445269016698 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 841.5 705.55239521 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.7418953221 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.7037037037 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.962962963 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.59259259259 5.70786347227 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 14.0 6.88822355289 203% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.146443035021 0.218282227539 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0417874393858 0.0743258471296 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0423253475917 0.0701772020484 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0812985065088 0.128457276422 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0295825203893 0.0628817314937 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.86 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 98.500998004 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 539 350
No. of Characters: 2580 1500
No. of Different Words: 238 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.818 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.787 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.671 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 175 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 134 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.56 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.212 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.76 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.305 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5