The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The argument claims that the birth order affects individual's levels of stimulation. Stated in this way, manipulates facts and conveys a distorted view of the situation.The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. hence, the argument is weak, unconvincing and has several flaws.
First, the argument readily assumes that the level of stimulation is solely incumbent upon the hormone cortisol. This statement is a stretch as there might be some other hormones that also affect the stimulation. For example, for the disease does not occur only due to coming in contact with the virus or bacteria but there are other factors also which decide whether the person will fall ill or not like individual's immunity, the propitious conditions for the bacteria to grow etc. So you have seen that in the same home one person might get seriously ill due to climate change and other one is immune. In the given argument , only increasing the level of cortisol is considered. In the case of infant monkey, first time mother monkeys as well as the humans. Argument could have been much more lucid if explicitly stated that the stimulation is only incumbent upon cortisol and no other factor affects the stimulation.
Second, the arguments claims that the study was carried out on eighteen rhesus monkeys. Only 18 monkeys is not the sufficient sample size to generalize the phenomenon for a larger population. The rhesus types of monkeys can be distinct than other monkeys. Furthermore, the fact which is true for one species might or might not be true for other species, So the argument is spurious that each implies to all the monkeys. To illustrate this, what might be true for pug cannot be necessarily true for German Shepherd. While pug do have small lives , we can't assume that german Shepherd have small lives too. in fact, german shepherd have longer lives than pugs. If the argument had provided the clearer evidence regarding why the eighteen monkeys studied are sufficient to draw out a conclusion , then the argument would have been lot more convincing.
Finally, the external factors like weather conditions and geographic locations also affect the stimulation level of the monkeys. And it is not evident from the argument. Whether all the studied animals were at same location or at different location, it is doubtful. Whether all were studied under the same laboratory condition, it is also dubious. Without convincing answers to these questions,one is left with the impression that the claim is more of a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the abovementioned reasons and thus unconvincing. It could be cogent if auhor clearly mentioned all the relevant facts.Without this information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 467 350
No. of Characters: 2332 1500
No. of Different Words: 232 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.649 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.994 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.639 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 168 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 132 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.227 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.122 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 169, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...nveys a distorted view of the situation.The conclusion of the argument relies on as...
^^^
Line 1, column 260, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...s for which there is no clear evidence. hence, the argument is weak, unconvincing and...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 406, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'individuals'' or 'individual's'?
Suggestion: individuals'; individual's
...er the person will fall ill or not like individuals immunity, the propitious conditions for...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 626, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...her one is immune. In the given argument , only increasing the level of cortisol i...
^^
Line 9, column 545, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... Shepherd. While pug do have small lives , we cant assume that german Shepherd hav...
^^
Line 9, column 551, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...erd. While pug do have small lives , we cant assume that german Shepherd have small ...
^^^^
Line 9, column 606, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: In
...t german Shepherd have small lives too. in fact, german shepherd have longer lives...
^^
Line 9, column 792, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... are sufficient to draw out a conclusion , then the argument would have been lot m...
^^
Line 13, column 394, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , one
...ut convincing answers to these questions,one is left with the impression that the cl...
^^^^
Line 17, column 162, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Without
...learly mentioned all the relevant facts.Without this information, the argument remains ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, hence, if, regarding, second, so, then, thus, well, while, for example, in conclusion, in fact, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 16.3942115768 171% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2399.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 464.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.17025862069 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64119157421 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79819989391 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.504310344828 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 738.9 705.55239521 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.2312412747 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.96 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.56 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.84 5.70786347227 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 14.0 6.88822355289 203% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.116019276618 0.218282227539 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0395366596852 0.0743258471296 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0513002314069 0.0701772020484 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0616506803353 0.128457276422 48% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0312845301563 0.0628817314937 50% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.68 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 122.0 98.500998004 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.