The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.
"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store café in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted
In the above statement, the author contends that Monarch Books should incorporate a cafe in the book store in order to raise profit, since Book and Bean which has an inside cafe in the bookstore implements to have a store in the Collegeville. While supporting the argument, however, the author makes numerous assumptions which cannot be taken for granted. Thus, the argument remains largely unconvincing without further additional evidence to verify unjustified assumptions.
Firstly, the author assumes that removing the children books section and having a cafe to be in that place indicates a profitable choice for Monarch Books. However, it may not be the case. Monarch Bookstore's main customers could have been the children. There is no evidence over which range of age is Monarch Books' customers. In addition, Monarch Bookstore's customers might not prefer cafe to be inside a bookstore. All of this, getting a cafe inside a bookstore, comes from author's presuming of Book and Bean's strategy to be successful. However, there is no evidence of the Book and Bean to have been successful to conclude that their strategy was effective. Also, making a cafe could cost so much money that there could be negative profit. Therefore, further evidence pertaining to Monarch Book's customers' characteristics, Book and Bean's strategy being successful at other places, and the cost of making a cafe inside a bookstore should be supported to support the claim and assess it.
Secondly, the large and strong base of the customers for the Monarch Books is not conclusively proven. The author mentions the large customers from 20years ago is still helpful for Monarch Books to pertain the profit. However, the customers could have died currently. In addition, the customers might not currently be Monarch Books' customers. The customers could have moved to other bookstores or use the online delivery service for the books because the bookstore's inside interior is dilapidated. Therefore, even though there is a new cafe inside the bookstore, the section other than that coffee area could be so antediluvian for the customers to come. As such, more detailed evidence needs to be considered whether there are still large customers for the Monarch Books to validate the author's assertion.
Lastly, the validity of the national census should be checked in order to confirm author's claim. The census concluded that the children have decreased substantially in number. However, we do not know which area of the children have decreased. Maybe, the Collegeville area could be famous for a good educational environment that families with kids could have moved into the place.
In sum, the author's claim is not very well supported as it stands in its current form. Further evidence pertaining to the above evidence is crucial in determining the validity of the claim.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK. In GRE/GMAT, we have to accept all data or evidence are true.
argument 3 -- not OK. In GRE/GMAT, we have to accept all data or evidence are true.
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Let's analyze the structure of the statement and argue accordingly:
condition 1:
Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store café in the space currently devoted to children's books. //part of your argument 1
condition 2:
Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. //first, maybe Collegeville is an exception of the national census; Second, 'decline in the percentage of the population under age ten' is not equal to 'decline in sales of books'.
conclusion:
By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean. //part of your argument 1
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 460 350
No. of Characters: 2340 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.631 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.087 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.687 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 174 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 135 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.509 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.68 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 789, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...s for the Monarch Books to validate the authors assertion. Lastly, the validity of ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 88, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Further,
...orted as it stands in its current form. Further evidence pertaining to the above eviden...
^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'first', 'firstly', 'however', 'if', 'lastly', 'may', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'still', 'therefore', 'thus', 'well', 'while', 'in addition']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.256360078278 0.25644967241 100% => OK
Verbs: 0.164383561644 0.15541462614 106% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0782778864971 0.0836205057962 94% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0606653620352 0.0520304965353 117% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0117416829746 0.0272364105082 43% => OK
Prepositions: 0.107632093933 0.125424944231 86% => OK
Participles: 0.0508806262231 0.0416121511921 122% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.76471830333 2.79052419416 99% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0332681017613 0.026700313972 125% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.123287671233 0.113004496875 109% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0293542074364 0.0255425247493 115% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00782778864971 0.0127820249294 61% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2856.0 2731.13054187 105% => OK
No of words: 460.0 446.07635468 103% => OK
Chars per words: 6.20869565217 6.12365571057 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6311565067 4.57801047555 101% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.382608695652 0.378187486979 101% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.308695652174 0.287650121315 107% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.217391304348 0.208842608468 104% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.141304347826 0.135150697306 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76471830333 2.79052419416 99% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 207.018472906 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.434782608696 0.469332199767 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 48.1338496774 52.1807786196 92% => OK
How many sentences: 25.0 20.039408867 125% => OK
Sentence length: 18.4 23.2022227129 79% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.6421800479 57.7814097925 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.24 141.986410481 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4 23.2022227129 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.64 0.724660767414 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 3.58251231527 56% => OK
Readability: 49.2695652174 51.9672348444 95% => OK
Elegance: 1.7520661157 1.8405768891 95% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.351582626091 0.441005458295 80% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.150423174689 0.135418324435 111% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0873953178335 0.0829849096947 105% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.558550669412 0.58762219726 95% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.15328875387 0.147661913831 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.144055863189 0.193483328276 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0802980179918 0.0970749176394 83% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.442970952359 0.42659136922 104% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0786025362546 0.0774707102158 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.235920810439 0.312017818177 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0508355419109 0.0698173142475 73% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.33743842365 132% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.87684729064 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.82512315271 187% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 10.0 6.46551724138 155% => OK
Negative topic words: 5.0 5.36822660099 93% => OK
Neutral topic words: 8.0 2.82389162562 283% => OK
Total topic words: 23.0 14.657635468 157% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.