The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid — a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil — as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
A newsletter report in the West Meria Public Health Council presents an argument for increasing fish consumption, through the use of Ichthaid (a supplement derived from fish oil), to prevent colds and subsequently reducing absenteeism from schools and workplaces. The council justifies its argument by presenting a report of nearby East Meria that shows a high intake of fish in the town’s population along with minimal required doctor visits for treatment of colds. However, in order to fully evaluate these arguments two specific pieces of evidence must be investigated to determine the plausibility of the conclusion.
First of all, the study done of East Meria must be examined in depth to determine what extent it can be applied to the city of West Meria. It is possible that the residents of East Meria are of a completely different makeup of age or race. These factors may have considerable biological effects on whether increased fish intake effects the person’s immune system. Therefore, the two cities cannot necessarily be compared when determining the effects of fish intake on health. It also possible that each city has differing socio-economical backgrounds. If this is the case, it would not be appropriate to compare the amount of doctor visits between each of the city’s citizens as the ability to afford these visits would be different in each area. So, these differences, if proven true, would severely weaken the argument by the council.
Further, the council argument relies on the consumption of Ichthaid proving true at preventing colds. They provide evidence of increased fish consumption as the reason for decreased illness. However, further evidence would be warranted to look at the similarity of the drug effects with consumption of whole fish. It is possible that this derived drug does not offer the same benefits as eating the meat of the animal. If additional evidence does not prove a similar link between the two then the council argument again falls flat.
In conclusion, the West Meria Health Council argument relating to intake of a fish oil supplement to decrease truancy or workplace absence is not fully justified. Further evidence and investigation of the arguments as detailed above will be required. If the council can more adequately address the issues presented then the conclusion may have more merit.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 380 350
No. of Characters: 1934 1500
No. of Different Words: 192 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.415 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.089 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.787 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.123 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.313 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.494 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 421, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...efits as eating the meat of the animal. If additional evidence does not prove a si...
^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the council argument again falls flat. In conclusion, the West Meria Health Cou...
^^^
Line 7, column 252, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...nts as detailed above will be required. If the council can more adequately address...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, look, may, so, then, therefore, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1987.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 380.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.22894736842 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41515443553 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85210230087 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.513157894737 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 621.0 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.6051143637 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.388888889 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1111111111 23.324526521 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.72222222222 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.155315038465 0.218282227539 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.045869488237 0.0743258471296 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0655053778944 0.0701772020484 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.101253736517 0.128457276422 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0772733409068 0.0628817314937 123% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.05 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.83 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.