In the memo, the author argues that a new jazz club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. While, at first glance, this author's argument may seem convincing; however, several lacunae and absence of solid evidence will make the proposal dubious.
First, the author needs to provide solid evidence on the claim that the C-Note, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, would have the local market all to itself. The already mentioned reason of this expectation is that the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away. However, this distance may not be substantial for jazz maniacs. Even if a jazz club might be farther away than 65 miles, those who love jazz music would go to the well-equipped jazz club. Only based on distance, it could not be guaranteed that a new jazz club in Monroe would have no rival in locality.
Second, it is plausible to think that if jazz is extremely popular in Monroe, a new jazz club would be successful. However, the author does not present relevant and cogent evidence about the high popularity of jazz in that region. 100,000 attendants of Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer may not be a considerable number, and there no evidence that all of the attendants were of Monroe residents. If most of the attendants came from other regions, it could not be said that jazz is popular in Monroe. Moreover, the author's statement that several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe is also dubious. The mere residence of famous jazz musicians in that reason does not directly indicate the success of the proposed new jazz club. They are probably living in Monroe because they want to stay away from their works. In that case, they would not work on a jazz club near their homes. Concerning the highest-rated radio program in Monroe, the author should present specific data. Even if the radio program is highest at 7 P.M, among whole radio programs, that program may be of lowest ones. Regarding these three points upon the popularity of jazz in Monroe, the author needs to add more sound statistics and data.
Lastly, the author evokes a study to reinforce his/her claim. However, this study was conducted on a nationwide scale, and this memo is written as a part of an application for a small-business loan. Therefore, the nationwide study is not representative for investment in a relatively small region like Monroe.
To sum up, the author should provide more sound evidence supporting his/her argument
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 357, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...able number, and there no evidence that all of the attendants were of Monroe residents. If...
Line 3, column 523, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...azz is popular in Monroe. Moreover, the authors statement that several well-known jazz ...
Line 3, column 987, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT
Message: “Even if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...he author should present specific data. Even if the radio program is highest at 7 P.M, ...
Line 3, column 1031, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
... if the radio program is highest at 7 P.M, among whole radio programs, that progr...
Line 3, column 1082, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'of the lowest'.
Suggestion: of the lowest
...ole radio programs, that program may be of lowest ones. Regarding these three points upon...
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, lastly, may, moreover, regarding, second, so, therefore, well, while, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2035.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 416.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.89182692308 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51620172871 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6115451438 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.478365384615 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 625.5 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 28.5916317296 57.8364921388 49% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 92.5 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.9090909091 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.77272727273 5.70786347227 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.377105909847 0.218282227539 173% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.120415258943 0.0743258471296 162% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0896654822079 0.0701772020484 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.177040069617 0.128457276422 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.135661433839 0.0628817314937 216% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
automated_readability_index: 11.1 14.3799401198 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 419 350
No. of Characters: 1975 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.524 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.714 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.545 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.045 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.041 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.682 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.35 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.35 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5