Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products, is opening its next franchise in the town of Plainsville. The store should prove to be very successful: Nature's Way franchises tend to be most profitable in areas where residents lead healthy lives, and clearly Plainsville is such an area. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. Finally, Plainsville's schoolchildren represent a new generation of potential customers: these schoolchildren are required to participate in a fitness-for-life program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age.
Nature’s Way is a chain of stores selling health related products, and soon going to open their new store in the town of Plainsville. Author has assumed that this store is going to be very successful based on lifestyle of people of the town. Author has given absurd reasons to support his claim.
First assumption of author is that, store gives more profit where surrounding people live healthy lives. However, leading healthy lives does not mean only eating healthy foods, there are many other prospects which author has not taken into cinsideration. Second observation of author is, people of Plainsville are living healthy lives based on the numbers provided by the merchants, who sells running shoes and exercise clothing. Author has not looked into the fact that, maybe these people who are running and working out do not eat healthy food. Not all people exercising eat healthy food all the time.
Next author has mentioned that the local health clubs are gaining more customers nowadays, and not only weight trainig but also aerobics classes are full since recent days. First of all, author has interlinked the two facts in here, one is as number of people going to health clubs and weight training classes is increasing, it will be beneficial for Nature’s Way to gain more customers. Second is that, author has presumed that all these people will go to Ntaure’s Way to buy their products. Here, he has overlooked the fact that, there might be other stores selling healthy foods and prducts, which will be competitors for Nature’s Way.
Finally, author has mentioned that, the school children, the new generation, have to participate in fitness related activities and, this indicates the potential customers for Nature’s Way. As we can see here, there are no statistics related to if all children are going to take fitness related activities or they buy any products related to healthy food. Author has only imagined that, young children will join the fitness related activities and buy products from Nature’s Way, increasing their sell.
To sum up, I will say that, author has overlooked many facts like other competitors and, statistics about the people going to gyms and people buying healthy food. Before jumping to conclusion author should take above mentioned reasons into consideration.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 379 350
No. of Characters: 1874 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.412 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.945 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.42 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.294 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.323 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.383 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.383 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.156 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 163, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Before” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...to gyms and people buying healthy food. Before jumping to conclusion author should tak...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, look, may, second, so, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1937.0 2260.96107784 86% => OK
No of words: 379.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11081794195 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41224685777 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52112440262 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.496042216359 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 576.9 705.55239521 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.6557784219 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.941176471 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2941176471 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.05882352941 5.70786347227 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.246753352918 0.218282227539 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0942153234211 0.0743258471296 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0971609364321 0.0701772020484 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156621987641 0.128457276422 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.107233880957 0.0628817314937 171% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.64 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 98.500998004 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.