“Our research indicates that over the past six years no incidents of employee theft have been reported within 10 of the companies that have been our clients. In analyzing the security practices of these 10 companies, we have further learned that each of them requires its employees to wear photo identification badges while at work. In the future, therefore, we should recommend the use of such identification badges to all of our clients.”
The author of the argument has concluded that to minimize employee theft all of their clients must wear identification badges. The recommendation is based on the analysis of their last 10 companies that have been associated with them since 10 years. Although the argument has some merits, because of weak assumption, lack of evidence and vague language, the argument is unsubstantiated and deeply flawed.
Firstly, author assumed that theft is done by client employees only. Author has failed to consider various reason apart from client employees. Others employees like housekeeping staff or their own employees may be involved in stealing. However, no such data is provided that client employees were the sole reason theft incidents in office.
Secondly, the author assumed that ID cards were the main reason that prevent client employees to involve any theft case. However, there might be some other reason other than this. For instance, the new installation of CCTV all across the workplace may prevent employees to do any theft case. However, author has not provide any data to support his reasoning that the IDs stopped employees not to stealing having the fear of being identified.
Lastly, there might be other possibility that authorities might have circulated advisories time to time all employees to reshape their moral and effect of theft on other fellow colleague. The circulation of advisories among the employees might have change their mind in two ways - 1. Morality their mindset changed 2. Employee might have feared that someone might have watching them but company does not want to reveal their name right now.
Although argument is unconvincing, the argument could have been strengthen if the author provide data such as client employees are the sole reason, there is no other changes in the office environment apart from mandatory of wearing photo identification badges , and there was no initiative taken by company other than introduction of photo identification badges . Without these data, argument is very hard persuasive.
In conclusion, although argument has some merits, but due to weak assumption, lack of evidence, the argument remains unconvincing.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 344 350
No. of Characters: 1793 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.307 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.212 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.698 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.598 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.613 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 317, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'provided'.
Suggestion: provided
...any theft case. However, author has not provide any data to support his reasoning that ...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 171, Rule ID: FELLOW_CLASSMATE[1]
Message: Use simply 'colleague'.
Suggestion: colleague
...heir moral and effect of theft on other fellow colleague. The circulation of advisories among th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 65, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'strengthened'.
Suggestion: strengthened
...onvincing, the argument could have been strengthen if the author provide data such as clie...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 260, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...y of wearing photo identification badges , and there was no initiative taken by co...
^^
Line 17, column 362, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...roduction of photo identification badges . Without these data, argument is very ha...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, then, apart from, for instance, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1860.0 2260.96107784 82% => OK
No of words: 344.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.40697674419 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30665032142 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78891969544 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.520348837209 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 555.3 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 70.0289402257 57.8364921388 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.333333333 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1111111111 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.83333333333 5.70786347227 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.176213289365 0.218282227539 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.061170763419 0.0743258471296 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0592058049868 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0909350016493 0.128457276422 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0486563215199 0.0628817314937 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.3799401198 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.1 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.34 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.