"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.
The passage unwarrantingly assumes that prohibiting skateboarding only in the plaza will return the plaza to its former high customer levels and is therefore faulty without further evidence. It summarily disregards other important factor such as the current environment of the plaza overall as well as the fact that skateboarding might not be the only factor affecting the number of shoppers and prohibiting it, therefore, will not have the desired effect on the situation and can rather worsen the circumstances.
First of all, the skate boarders may not be the only reason that the number of shoppers are declining. It can very well be that there is some other reason such as the fall of the quality of products or the emergence of another more popular plaza nearby that is causing the customers unlikely to come to the cantral plaza. In this case, the skateboarding might be the only reason that some of the customers are even here. Some shops might specialize in selling skateboard goods and decline of customers on those shops doesn't explain why skateoarding would be at fault. Prohibiting skateboarding altogether may, therefore, have an adverse effect on the situation where people who were coming here for the fun of skateboarding would be loathe to commute to this place and thus customers would decrease even further. If we had more information about what was actually the cause of the shoppers declining as well as the information of the general interest of the current shoppers, we could have assessed this problem much better.
Then there is the problem of increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. These, while may or may not be related to the skateboarding, generally create a repugnant environment that could very well preclude the appearance of the customers. The vandalism might create a negative effect on the people's conscience and they may generally deem the place as unsafe and would rather commute so someplace safer. Also, there might be a new, more unique shopping center, which just just opened recently, might ust be more popular than the central plaza which is deemed rather safe than the current situation at the central plaza and people my start frequenting there. We need to take proper measure which would ensure the decrease of the litter and vandalism throughout the plaza and ensure a better, more convivial place for the customers to readily come in and enjoy.
Finally, Prohibiting skateboarding only in the plaza may preclude it from performing at all. For one, the skateboarding system may just shift from the plaza to a suitable place nearby which would assure its continuity. In that case, people who were interested in the skateboarding only and not in the plaza overall, would stop coming to the plaza. Therefore, the food shops and the goods shops that sold skateboarding related kits would lose even more of their customers. Without knowing what is actually the cause of the people's interest, prohibiting the skateboarding in the plaza will therefore do no good to the situation of the plaza and may very well have a deteriorating effect.
In conclusion, We need to know they exact information what is actually causing the customer rate decline in the plaza and whether it has any relation to the skateboarding at all. Then depending on the evidences we could determine whether stopping the skateboarding practice, bettering the condition of the environment, changing it or maybe modifying it in some way would actually ameliorate the situation. If we had all these information, the plaza may just be getting all of its former glory and customers back without having to anything to the skateboarding and who knows, the skateboarding may just be the reason that some of the customers were staying in the plaza all along and not some other reason.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not exactly. Need to argue against the conclusion here. For this topic it is:
Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.
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flaws:
No. of Words: 636 350 //less content wanted. the conclusion is too long.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 636 350
No. of Characters: 3135 1500
No. of Different Words: 237 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.022 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.929 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.772 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 207 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 159 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 117 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 84 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.92 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.81 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.385 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.56 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.17 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 385, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...eboarding might be the only reason that some of the customers are even here. Some shops mig...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 518, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...and decline of customers on those shops doesnt explain why skateoarding would be at fa...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 731, Rule ID: AM_LOATHE_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'be loath to'?
Suggestion: be loath to
...here for the fun of skateboarding would be loathe to commute to this place and thus customer...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 316, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'peoples'' or 'people's'?
Suggestion: peoples'; people's
...m might create a negative effect on the peoples conscience and they may generally deem ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 491, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: just
...new, more unique shopping center, which just just opened recently, might ust be more popu...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 421, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this information' or 'these informations'?
Suggestion: this information; these informations
...ameliorate the situation. If we had all these information, the plaza may just be getting all of i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 622, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...ateboarding may just be the reason that some of the customers were staying in the plaza all...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, finally, first, if, may, so, then, therefore, thus, well, while, in conclusion, such as, as well as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 35.0 12.9520958084 270% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 22.0 11.1786427146 197% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3195.0 2260.96107784 141% => OK
No of words: 635.0 441.139720559 144% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03149606299 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.01988110783 4.56307096286 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82173085966 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 248.0 204.123752495 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.390551181102 0.468620217663 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1003.5 705.55239521 142% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 64.7401223872 57.8364921388 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 152.142857143 119.503703932 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.2380952381 23.324526521 130% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.14285714286 5.70786347227 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.173836686129 0.218282227539 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0643841431676 0.0743258471296 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0360234936517 0.0701772020484 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113090189249 0.128457276422 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0241033578522 0.0628817314937 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.4 14.3799401198 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.03 48.3550499002 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.49 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 98.500998004 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 12.3882235529 157% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 20.0 11.9071856287 168% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.