A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The writer has made the claim that the city of Mentia will decline in number of headaches in the future because of a proposed increase of using Salicylates in food. The evidences for such a conclusion are weak in that further information is required in order to connect his reasons with his conclusion. Also, certain questions need to be answered before the conclusion that headache reports in Mentia will continue to fall.
First, evidence cites that salicylates is in the same chemical family of aspirin, which is used to ameliorate headaches. Although this may appear to be strong enough on its own to draw the conclusion that salicylates could in fact work similar to aspirin, this assumes that since two chemicals are in the same family that their desired impact on the body is the same, and thus, salicylates can be used to cure headaches. What the author needs to answer is, what does being in the same chemical family really mean? Does it mean that they share some of the same elements and thus must act the same on the body? Surely carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide are in the same chemical family because they share the same elements, but while carbon monoxide will kill you, while carbon dioxide is basically harmless. The writer needs to elucidate what being in the same chemical family means to the effects of each chemical being compared.
Second, the author states that a 22 year study found a correlation between reported headaches and use of salicylates for commercial purposes. What is unknown, and would bridge the gap between this evidence and the conclusion that he draws, is what exactly commercial use means and will this trend continue in years to come. If commercial means use for food in livestock, not human consumption, than this evidence is moot. Also, without assuming that this trend of declining headache reports and commercial use of salicylates will undoubtedly continue to happen in the future, then one cannot accept his final conclusion.
Third, the notion that since companies say they will use salicylates in the future as food flavoring assumes that enough companies will partake in this to impact the population of Mentia. The author must tell us how many of the companies will partake in increasing the use of salicylates in their food before we can determine its impact. Maybe only a few companies out of hundreds have decided that they will use salicylates in their food. We do not know. Evidence that supports the breadth of the future use of companies that use salicylates in their food is required in order to evaluate the conclusion.
In a final analysis, the author fails to answer questions that strengthen the evidence for his argument. More evidence is required to draw the same conclusion as this author.
argument 1 -- better to accept salicylates can cure headaches.
argument 2 -- not exactly
argument 3 -- not OK
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Let's analyze the structure of the statement and argue accordingly:
condition 1:
The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants.
condition 2:
At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so.
conclusion:
Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
then here goes the argument:
argument 1:
Maybe other reasons caused the decline of headaches.
argument 2:
It is not 'the more, the better'. Maybe it will be harmful with more salicylates in food.
argument 3:
Granted that salicylates are effective in treating headaches, we cannot hastily infer that they would also be effective in preventing headaches.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 468 350
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No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.651 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.806 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.512 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.896 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.595 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.165 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5