The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
A survey in Asia suggests that in contemporary society, a large percentage of young adults lack the ability to lead a group. But how could they reestablish this essential capability, leadership? Some people blame this phenomenon on the fierce competition which we have to confront since we were still children and claim that instead of competition, young people should be impaired more about cooperation which would contribute to the establishment of leadership. From my point of view, the sense of cooperation is truly fundamental, while the awareness of competition is also indispensable when it comes to the development of leadership.
To begin with, there is no doubt that learning how to corporate with others is one essential component of good leadership. To be specific, a good leader is apt to make everything organized, which is to say, he or she need splice one onerous task into small pieces and then separate these divided tasks to his or her subordinates. During this procedure, being good at communicating with staff and articulating tasks to them is what lead to a successful cooperation, and in other words, contribute to an excellent leadership. One counterexample is that if a leader lacks the sense of cooperation and tackle one task by himself, then he would be extremely exhausted and laborious without the help of his subordinates. In short, cooperation is an unavoidable skill that every leader has to equip.
On the other hand, by no means could we ignore the importance of competition in terms of preparing for leadership. This is a fiercely competitive society, so if one firm or one group want to seize one opportunity such as attracting one clientele, they need to defeat other teams. In other words, in order to grasp market opportunity, companies have to gain the ability to compete with other counterparts. But how could they become more competent compared with others? One cardinal ingredient is right strategy decided by leaders, so leaders must preempt a sense of competition first in order to instigate their fellows. For example, if the leader does not want to get involved in market competition, then his or her subordinates are less likely to participate in it too, which could result in the failure of the whole team. To sum up, in order to achieve the triumph of competing with other groups, leaders should be competitive firstly.
In conclusion, it is extremely hard to decide which awareness would contribute to good leadership more, cooperation or competition, since they are both unavoidable parts for the preparation of leadership.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 98, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ness would contribute to good leadership more, cooperation or competition, since ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, so, still, then, while, as to, for example, in conclusion, in short, no doubt, such as, in other words, to begin with, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 33.0505617978 97% => OK
Preposition: 75.0 58.6224719101 128% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 12.9106741573 132% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2163.0 2235.4752809 97% => OK
No of words: 423.0 442.535393258 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.1134751773 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0984386254 2.79657885939 111% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 215.323595506 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.51536643026 0.4932671777 104% => OK
syllable_count: 686.7 704.065955056 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 13.0 4.38483146067 296% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.9396649244 60.3974514979 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.235294118 118.986275619 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.8823529412 23.4991977007 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.4705882353 5.21951772744 201% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.168110727452 0.243740707755 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0562490457841 0.0831039109588 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0492711371786 0.0758088955206 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.120268622152 0.150359130593 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0377114235849 0.0667264976115 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.1392134831 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.8420337079 96% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.1743820225 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.1639044944 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.04 8.38706741573 96% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 100.480337079 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 16.0 11.8971910112 134% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.