GRE sample issue pool essay topic 23
The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
There is good and bad to everything, and privilege also consist of the both good and bad to it. Some people can make good out of it while some get into it and loose them in the process. Given prompt suggest, the luxuries and conveniences of the lifestyle makes people drifted from their true self and I mostly disagree with it.
Firstly, Rich people have access to better lifestyle and better experience which leads them towards developing confidence and broad perspective. The book rich dad poor dad summarize - rich people have more access to the resources and profundity. Due to which they develop a strong personality with lots of confidence. In the book itself, the poorer one was diffident due to lack of experience and exposure to the high-end resources. Also, We can take example of indian billionaire, Mukesh Ambani, who had access to one of the best life due to his father who was millionaire at the time. He didn’t drifted apart from his passion and roles. Instead he took advantage of the privilege and became one of the richest person in the world which itself proves his strong mindset and personality. Thus, richer with more access to the knowledge and resources are more likely to transform into a strong individual.
Further, the people who are into luxury tend to get bored with their life in long run if they do not know what they want to achieve. So, they in search of true self tend to look into different type of lifestyle. Since they already have experienced the high-end life, they are not afraid to explore and learn from other side of the struggle. For instance, Gautam Buddha, who was the prince with all the luxuries, wanted to explore himself and learn about enlightment. He was so bored by the luxuries that he thought of doing some more and achieve something in life. Moreover, he felt stagnant in life because of his routine which included all the convinence. To add, we can take example of the rich people who tend to visit less developed contries and explore the non-luxuries life to learn from it. Thus, the luxury doesn’t make people to lose their personality. Instead it makes them curious about other type of life after they hit a plateau.
Luxuries and conveniences, however, in some case, make people dependent, mainly those who are spoonfeeded by their seniors making them not so successful in their life. In contrast, those who are from poor family without a good lifestyle tend to achieve more in their life. They normally outstrip the people who are more indulged into the luxuries life. For example, Donald trump was born in luxury because his father was a millionaire. He is doing okay in his life. While Warren Buffet, who was born in village with little access to the luxuries life is more successful and independent than the Donald Trump who is not respected as an individual by majority of people because of his ill personality. Moreover, we can also take example of actress Lindsay Lohan who got bad exposure in her life due to luxuries and convenient lifestyle. Meanwhile, those who had to struggle made it into the top. Therefore, luxuries can make people go into the wrong track but in contrast gives those without luxuries to grow and evolve into a better and confident people.
To sum, luxury plays a huge role in the persona of an individual. To get into a right track and be a responsible individual they need to appreciate whatever they have. Not every individual is the same, so luxury and convenient life also brings out different personality in them.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 597, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[4]
Message: The verb 'didn't' requires base form of this verb: 'drift'
Suggestion: drift
... was millionaire at the time. He didn’t drifted apart from his passion and roles. Inste...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 639, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Instead,
...ifted apart from his passion and roles. Instead he took advantage of the privilege and ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 863, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Instead,
... make people to lose their personality. Instead it makes them curious about other type ...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 87, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...se, make people dependent, mainly those who are spoonfeeded by their seniors making the...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 338, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'luxuries'' or 'luxury's'?
Suggestion: luxuries'; luxury's
...e people who are more indulged into the luxuries life. For example, Donald trump was bor...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 537, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'luxuries'' or 'luxury's'?
Suggestion: luxuries'; luxury's
...rn in village with little access to the luxuries life is more successful and independent...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, look, moreover, so, therefore, thus, while, apart from, for example, for instance, in contrast
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.5258426966 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 26.0 14.8657303371 175% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.3162921348 150% => OK
Pronoun: 54.0 33.0505617978 163% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 97.0 58.6224719101 165% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 12.9106741573 54% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2912.0 2235.4752809 130% => OK
No of words: 610.0 442.535393258 138% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.7737704918 5.05705443957 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.96972615649 4.55969084622 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55373908266 2.79657885939 91% => OK
Unique words: 259.0 215.323595506 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.424590163934 0.4932671777 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 936.9 704.065955056 133% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 32.0 20.2370786517 158% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.242029005 60.3974514979 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.0 118.986275619 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0625 23.4991977007 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.1875 5.21951772744 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 5.13820224719 195% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.206394939002 0.243740707755 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0613942309453 0.0831039109588 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.040722459089 0.0758088955206 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125847191647 0.150359130593 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0147004994982 0.0667264976115 22% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 14.1392134831 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.8420337079 124% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.1743820225 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 12.1639044944 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.53 8.38706741573 90% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 100.480337079 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.