“People’s behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.”Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compe

Essay topics:

“People’s behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.”

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

People tend to think of their behavior as totally judicious, determined highly by the logical reasoning process of own without any extraneous matters outside, but there are lots of examples that can be used to belie this notion. These examples show that people’s behavior is actually a final ramification of diverse interaction between their personal motivations and outside matters; social forces.

First of all, there are some social areas that require somewhat coercive policies to retain its main purpose of existence. This coercive policy can be thought as an extraneous motive of people’s behavior, rather than an intrinsic one. Education, especially for the young, can be used as a perfect example for this. If you ask the reason of ‘studying’ to an 8-year-old student, he might probably answer like this: “Because I have a homework to do.” Answer from a 15-year-old high school student might not be that different, talking about an exam he should prepare. As you can see, homework and examination system is the representative motivation of studying for most of the students worldwide. Teachers use this two system efficiently to make their students learn the proper knowledge they have to at their level of development. However, those education-methodological systems are in fact totally extraneous, a coercive force the students did not want at all, but effectively determines the student’s behavior.

Second, the fact that the power of ‘peer pressure’ is significantly high among human beings make their behavior vulnerable to social circumstances such as government system, cultural custom, or social trend. People tend to buy things they did not really want or things they cannot make a lot of use out of just because most of the people do have one of those. People’s natural instinct not wanting to be ostracized by others, make them to follow what others do. Same thing happens for the social system of ‘marriage’. Some sociologists say that peer pressure that the society imposes on single male or female is a crucial drive that allowed the survival of social system of marriage until this day. This shows that people’s behavior is largely determined by forces they did not make.

Some might argue, however, that people’s behavior is in fact finally determined by own thoughts and mind, undermining the seemingly extraneous circumstances mentioned above as one of measly substances that affects the overall decision process. People’s behavior based on their natural instinct, such as sleeping, eating or sexual mating can be used as its logical ground.

However, unfortunately, many instinctive behaviors turn out to be vulnerable to social circumstances. The act of eating three times a day, for instance, which is usually known as a natural result of human being’s periodic hunger, is actually a human-made tradition started from our ancestors after agricultural society. Before the agricultural society, when human beings gathered food by hunting, humans could not supplement their necessity of food three times a day periodically. Only after the food was plenty enough for humans to eat three times a day, the current tradition of breakfast, lunch and dinner has been settled.

To sum up, even though there are widespread notion among people that one’s behavior is largely determined by their own forces they made for themselves, there are lots of examples to negate this prevailing preconception. The fact that educational techniques such as homework and examinations actually determines many student’s behavior of studying, or the fact that people are susceptible to the effect of peer pressure can be effectively used to belie the preconception mentioned above.

Average: 8.3 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 11, column 45, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'notions'?
Suggestion: notions
...um up, even though there are widespread notion among people that one's behavior i...

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, finally, first, however, if, really, second, so, as to, for instance, in fact, such as, talking about, first of all, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.5258426966 133% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 14.8657303371 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.3162921348 141% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 33.0505617978 145% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 58.6224719101 128% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 12.9106741573 108% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3205.0 2235.4752809 143% => OK
No of words: 586.0 442.535393258 132% => OK
Chars per words: 5.46928327645 5.05705443957 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.92010537223 4.55969084622 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.23424762829 2.79657885939 116% => OK
Unique words: 301.0 215.323595506 140% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.513651877133 0.4932671777 104% => OK
syllable_count: 994.5 704.065955056 141% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 23.0359550562 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.6433635273 60.3974514979 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.347826087 118.986275619 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4782608696 23.4991977007 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.13043478261 5.21951772744 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.291362133071 0.243740707755 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0969715092502 0.0831039109588 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0640187262765 0.0758088955206 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168465777354 0.150359130593 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0450321929024 0.0667264976115 67% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.1 14.1392134831 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 48.8420337079 77% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.1743820225 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.74 12.1639044944 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.27 8.38706741573 111% => OK
difficult_words: 163.0 100.480337079 162% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.2143820225 107% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?


Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.