The chart below gives information about global sales of games software, CDs and DVD or video. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.
The given bar chart shows the number of global products: games software, DVD/Video and CDs sold during a particular period of time, from 2000 to 2003.
According to the chart, the sales of games software rose gradually during the three years. Meanwhile, in the case of the DVD/Video, this figure had more double sales than that of games software. However, there was a slight decrease of sold CDs from 2000 onwards.
A more detailed look at the data presents, from 2000 to 2001 the sales of games software increased slightly with approximately 12-to-14 billion dollars, continued to nearly 20 billion dollars in the end of the year. By comparison with the sold DVD/video peaking at 30 billion dollars in 2003, this product had a low of the sales.
Looking backward 2003-2000, the global products of DVD/video started point in 20 billion dollars of the total sales, then it had been significantly better during the following years, with approximately 21-and-27 billion dollars. On the other hand, after a short peak of the sold CDs, with 34 billion dollars, this global product was a gradual slight drop in 2001 and 2002, then continued to a low of only 31 billion dollars in the end of the period.
Clearly, the numbers of global sales for games software and DVD/video rose steadily, while the sales of CDs showed the reverse.
Sentence: this figure had more double sales than that of games software.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: By comparison with the sold DVD/video
Sentence: By comparison with the DVD/video sales
there was a slight decrease of sold CDs
there was a slight decrease of CDs sales
this product had a low of the sales.
this product had a lower sales.
this global product was a gradual slight drop
this global product has a gradual slight drop
flaws:
sentences are not addressed clearly, like:
from 2000 to 2001 the sales of games software increased slightly with approximately 12-to-14 billion dollars, continued to nearly 20 billion dollars in the end of the year.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 231 200
No. of Characters: 1063 1000
No. of Different Words: 106 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.899 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.602 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.337 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 70 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 53 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 28 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 14 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.922 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.488 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.769 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.144 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4