science could help people live up to 100 or 200 years even would that be a good or bad development Discuss both views and give your opinion

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science could help people live up to 100 or 200 years even. would that be a good or bad development ? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Submitted by Justin on Sun, 02/23/2014 - 00:02

Science has brought a gigantic revolution in the field of medical. presently, science is likely to make it possible to live for a century or more with the emergence of surgical, cardiac operations and prodigious remedies. Undeniably, it has several benefits, however its darker side can not be underestimated. Here, I would like to account for both sides with my perception.

There are multifarious pros of this phenomenon. First and foremost, living a long life can play a phenomenal role in the overall development of a nation. For example, work force especially excellent doctors, teachers, engineers, sportsman and business man will serve their nations for a large span of life. As a result, a country can thrive by leaps and bounds. Moreover, living long life is lucrative for everyone to relish with their kith and kins. For instance, one can enjoy festive occasions, personal achievements, wearing, eating and travelling for maximum period through out his life. Consequently, it will lend an immense pleasure to mankind.

By contrast, it has darker side too. Firstly, this trend is expected to be responsible for an astronomical menace called 'population explosion'. To illustrate, the number of people will gian ground radically as the death rates will decline remarkably. Thus, the world may have to face scarcity of food, shelter, jobs and clothes in this era of inflation. Hence, it could be devastating for human beings. Furthermore, a massive number of people will be destructive for environment. As they will promote deforestation, excessive consumerism of goods and natural resources.

From my notion, although living for longer period will be a boon for masses, however it is anticipated to be bane as well. A proper family planing, educating people at larger extent, imposing restriction over striding population could be productive to make a perfect balance between health and wealth.

To recapitulate, it is need of hour to take some proactive steps to prevent people from cons of this blessing to live for 100 years by both government and individuals as it is said that ''prevention is better than cure''.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (3 votes)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

although living for longer period will be a boon for masses, however it is anticipated to be bane as well.
although living for longer period will be a boon for masses, it is anticipated to be bane as well.

Description: don't put 'however' 'although' together.

Sentence: To illustrate, the number of people will gian ground radically as the death rates will decline remarkably.
Error: gian Suggestion: No alternate word

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 343 350
No. of Characters: 1721 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.304 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.017 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.838 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.15 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.805 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.24 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.476 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.008 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Thank you very much sir for rating my essay 8.5 !!!

I have written above essay with different pattern ! such as-

I have followed 3 major steps
1. I explained main idea in the form of title firstly then
2. I have built examples to support main idea then
3. I have concluded the whole idea

well I m desperate to know your detailed opinion about this method of writing ????

please tell me can I suggest this pattern of essay to my students of ielts ???? n do tell how much impact pharasal verbs have in essay to boost the score ???

1. Yes, it is a correct pattern.

This is a similar pattern we recommended for essay body:

Para 2:First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).

2. Sure you can transfer this to your students.

3. Phrasal verbs are necessary, but not too much. If not, Use of Discourse Markers (%) will be very high.

1.tnxxxxx , wt can we use with although instead of however then ???? n is it good to write example in every idea ????

2. I m afraid examiner may get irritated. give ur suggestion too ???

3. is it good to make v1+ing as subject ???????

1. Although is although, however is however. You can't replace one.

2. Don't necessarily write examples in every idea. and one sentence could be one example. The smart way is that people can't figure out there are examples.

3. The is a big 'map' or 'pattern' in your mind, you don't let examiners figure out there is a pattern. slowly you should forget 'pattern' and have your own writing style.

4. No problem to make v1+ing as subject.