In some countries the average weight of people is increasing their level of fitness is decreasing .What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them

In this age of modernism, obesity is becoming a major problem among people. It is linked with many life-threatening diseases and as such it has to addressed. However, the roots of the problem must be discussed before establishing a solution.

In the light of obesity, numerous causes and their amalgam have led to this serious problem. People have changed their eating habits significantly, as availability of fast food, which contains high percentage of fat, is easier in today's world. Furthermore,change in jobs have made a major impact on people's lifestyles. Work leaves very few hours for a man to exercise and maintain his healthy lifestyle. This leads to an inactive lifestyle supplemented by higher consumption of calories and even more catastrophic, insomnia.

Although, technological advancements surely brings us lavish convenience but it's negative impacts substantiate obeseness. Gone are the times when we used to climb stairs as we have access to elevators and escalators. We wouldn't mind to go to shops by cars and motorbikes but if we have to walk , it feels like a demanding task. This is not to say that technology is the problem, rather, the way we use it is the problem.

In regard to solutions, these are numerous. Campaigns should be organized nationally and even internationally, if needed, showing how dangerous obesity really is. This should be one of the many programs , which mass media and governments should promote, including the need of courses about healthy living and role of exercise in our life, in school curriculum. Not only exercise but also dietary changes should be practiced as well. One dietary solution in overcoming obesity is follow a low calorie diet plans, which acts as a really gift in dealing with this problem.

Above and beyond, our modern lifestyle has become a part of us , which we really admire as it brings us various facilities, which could not be found in early times, but the problem of obesity which accompanies it has to be dealt with if we have to live a healthy and productive life.

Votes
Average: 4.6 (5 votes)

it has to addressed.
it has to be addressed.

change in jobs have made a major impact
changes in jobs have made a major impact

technological advancements surely brings us lavish convenience
technological advancements surely bring us lavish convenience

In regard to solutions,
In regard to the solutions,

Not only exercise but also dietary changes should be practiced as well.
Not only exercise but dietary changes should be practiced as well.

One dietary solution in overcoming obesity is follow a low calorie diet plans
One dietary solution in overcoming obesity is to follow a low calorie diet plan

flaws:No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2

You have issues to use 'which':
This should be one of the many programs , which mass media and governments should promote, including the need of courses ...

our modern lifestyle has become a part of us , which we really admire as it brings us various facilities, which could not be found in early times

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 343 350
No. of Characters: 1660 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.304 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.84 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.822 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.056 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.058 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.281 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.533 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5