Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Other, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both.
Discuss these views and give your own opinion.
Music is something popular in almost all communities around the world. In fact, this kind of art has a great influence on people; however, some other people argue that music affects our culture negatively.
No one can deny that music has a positive effect on persons and societies. What one factor improves individual’s health is to memorize lovely moment in their life which is brought by a piece of song. Also we cannot forget the music beneficial on some students’ concentration when they study. Moreover, people associate national music with home and their county glories in the past and present. Ignoring the future hope that music give us is unacceptable.
On the other hand, some people believe music encourages children and adults to commit violence, and increase their aggression toward their society. Furthermore, some music lyrics have a sexual overtone which is unsuitable for families. Other music types motivate teenagers or even mature people to depress.
In my point of view, music can be both worth or worse; it relies on the type of music that we listen to. Every day we hear at news violent activities from young group who destroys public property, so we can predict the music genre they use to listen. Also, infant links their mothers’ songs with sleeping time, whereas people relate their favorite classic music with their traditions.
In conclusion, music is part of our existence which we cannot neglect it, but we should be aware of its outcomes. Therefore, each one in the community has liability and responsibility for what type of music he listen and spread.
Sentence: Also we cannot forget the music beneficial on some students' concentration when they study.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to music and beneficial
from young group who destroys public property,
from young group who destroy public properties,
he listen and spread.
he listens and spreads.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 264 350
No. of Characters: 1286 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.031 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.871 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.465 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 91 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 58 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.017 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.366 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.603 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.157 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5