do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children rely too much on technology, like computers, smartphones, video games for fun and entertainment. Playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for children’s developments
Psychologists believe that sundry items can have remarkable effects on children’s personality, and parents must pay much attention to such factors. This issue whether or not playing by simple materials and with other children can be more effective in developments of children instead of playing with modern devices has provoked controversy among human beings. I, to a considerable extent, hold the viewpoint that playing with common devices and with their friends can be more profitable for children. My reasons are manifold, among which some of the most conspicuous ones are substantiated in the following paragraphs.
To commence with, one of the most significant proofs of this claim is related to this importance that modern devices such as smart phones or computers can reduce the level of creativity among children. In other word, since children by playing with such modern tools do not utilize their minds, and indeed, they do not think about finding more impressive methods for their plays, in long term, their brains will become lazy. Therefore, they cannot discover influential solutions for their problematic issues in their daily lives, and this phenomenon is not a very favorable one for their future lives. Furthermore, as a result of this issue that most of the time, they play with modern devices alone, they will become isolated persons who cannot behave pleasantly in social groups. To give a tangible example, consider a child who has unsophisticated tools for play, at such situation, he or she will definitely endeavor to create some complex plays with these tools. This behavior is due to this significance that children want to respond their ambition senses. Thus, this child harnesses his or her brain effectively, and finally, he or she can find some methods to play more enjoyably. Therefore, the more children play with simple devices and their friends, the more they will become creative and the more they will become social persons.
The second and equally exquisite point of this assertion is about this issue that modern kinds of plays have adverse impacts on the level of healthfulness among children. To shed more light on this matter, owing to this motif that during playing with technological tools, children do not have any physical activity, after sometimes, they will become obese, which can bring extremely harmful illnesses for them in the future. In addition, computers, smart phones and many other similar devices have detrimental waves, which are very hazardous for children’s eyes, and this may lead to some unfavorable results that cannot be compensated by anything else. According to a recent survey about health of eye, which was accomplished in my native country among elementary school children. The results were very traumatic since the outcomes of the investigation show that 80% of the students who spend most of their times (more than 5 hours per a day) by playing with modern tools had weak eyes and utilize glasses. Thus, not only dose playing with modern tools bring different kinds of diseases, but also, it makes children isolated.
All in all, considering the aforementioned arguments, we may draw the conclusion that it can be more advantageous for children if they play with simple tools and by their friends. This issue is as a result of this importance that they not only become more creative, but also, healthier and more social persons
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 165, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...h attention to such factors. This issue whether or not playing by simple materials and with ot...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...ntiated in the following paragraphs. To commence with, one of the most signif...
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Line 5, column 1343, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...e more they will become social persons. The second and equally exquisite point o...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...ut also, it makes children isolated. All in all, considering the aforemention...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, furthermore, if, may, second, so, therefore, thus, in addition, such as, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 9.8082437276 194% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 52.1666666667 144% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2870.0 1977.66487455 145% => OK
No of words: 554.0 407.700716846 136% => OK
Chars per words: 5.18050541516 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.85151570047 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72435956634 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 267.0 212.727598566 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.481949458484 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 867.6 618.680645161 140% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 14.0 4.94265232975 283% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 43.4051840222 48.9658058833 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.5 100.406767564 143% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.7 20.6045352989 134% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.2 5.45110844103 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.250808085674 0.236089414692 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0992518636265 0.076458572812 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0671451891647 0.0737576698707 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.189561943459 0.150856017488 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.059556587164 0.0645574589148 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.8 11.7677419355 143% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 58.1214874552 76% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.06 10.9000537634 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.65 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 129.0 86.8835125448 148% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.