Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
For parents to raise a responsible adult is the biggest responsibility. Parents have to give their children a head start by teaching various skills, so they can become responsible and well organized adults in their practical life. As regards to the topic, some may encourage not to do the part time job for their teenager and some encourages their teenagers to do a part-time job. In my opinion and a mother of three children, I would encourage teenagers to do a part time job.
First, teenage age is the very tender age to teach them life lesson skills and they are most likely to adopt and learn quickly. So, some parents encourage their teenagers to teach their children the basic learning skills which eventually help them in future too. For instance, when I was a teenager my mother encouraged me to do tutoring as a part-time job. She explained to me by saying that in this way you have your money and can buy whatever you want. I learnt many things from my part-time job. I manage my time accordingly, learnt to deal with the customer, manage my own money. Indeed, this help me a lot in my future jobs too. Like I worked as a pharmacy technician so I need to manage the customers which is the basic skills which I already learnt and can easily manage to deal with the customers.
Secondly, when students do a part-time job as soon as they are in high school they can easily save the money for college and can easily be debt free. As a result of this, they have a goal to pursue and learn responsibility to save money for their future. For instance, my cousin when she was in high school started to work as a retail representative in the Boba tea shop and also in Starbucks coffee shop. She was motivated when she got her first salary and saved her money for her college. After the graduation from college she told me that she was blessed that she had money for college and she is debt free. So, part-time job teaches many valuable lessons to teenager and motivates them to pursue their dream career without the exhaustion of money problems.
To sum up this topic, I would say parents should encourage and motivate their teenagers to take a part-time job. The part-time job teaches students to manage their time while balancing between their studies and job. Moreover, it teaches to be responsible and focus oriented towards their career. There are many more benefits of doing a part-time job and teenagers should do the part-time job.
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- TPO 24 Integrated Writing Task 63
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 279, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rds to the topic, some may opt to not to choose the part time job for their teena...
^^
Line 1, column 292, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...pic, some may opt to not to choose the part time job for their teenager and some encoura...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 369, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...some encourages their teenagers to do a part time job. In my opinion and a mother of thre...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 466, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...en, I would encourage teenagers to do a part time job. First, teenage age is the very...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 344, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...other encouraged me to do tutoring as a part time job. She explained to me by saying that...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 486, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
... you want. I learnt many things from my part time job. I manage my time accordingly, lear...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 586, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Indeed,
...with the customer, manage my own money. Indeed this help me a lot in my future jobs to...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 30, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...tomers. Secondly, when students do a part time job as soon as they are in high school ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 288, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...future. For instance, my cousin when she was in high school started to work as a ...
^^
Line 5, column 616, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...ey for college and she is debt free. So part time job teaches many valuable lessons to te...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 99, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
... and motivate their teenagers to take a part time job. The part time job teaches students...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 118, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
... teenagers to take a part time job. The part time job teaches students to manage their ti...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 337, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...There are many more benefits of doing a part time job and teenagers should do the part ti...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 379, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...rt time job and teenagers should do the part time job.
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, first, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, well, while, as regards, for instance, as a result, in my opinion, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2007.0 1977.66487455 101% => OK
No of words: 447.0 407.700716846 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.48993288591 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.59808378696 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.41027342727 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 212.727598566 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.427293064877 0.524837075471 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 630.0 618.680645161 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.6317104963 48.9658058833 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.2272727273 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3181818182 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5 5.45110844103 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.5376344086 253% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.335569029075 0.236089414692 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.118934742174 0.076458572812 156% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0778234819661 0.0737576698707 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.240586436453 0.150856017488 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0832058771998 0.0645574589148 129% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 11.7677419355 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.76 10.9000537634 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.24 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.