Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment, doing things they like to do, rather than doing things they should do
Since the beginning of this century, in the distinctive civilized societies, it has been a very controversial argument that nowadays, people would rather to spend their time on doing their favorite things rather than on doing the things they should do, through which numerous conflicts has engendered. Some people are inclined toward the opinion that people spend much more time on their personal enjoyment, while others consider this argument in a whole diverse perspective. Although an absolute conclusion cannot be made, in spite of all the opposite attitudes I strongly disagree with the statement that individuals spend too much time on their hobbies. The outstanding reasons for my opinion would be explored below.
To begin with, the rate of depression among individuals shows that not everybody in this crazy world is happy. I mean if people spend their time on their hobbies then how come we saw too many depressed persons around us? For example, in my city, Tehran, six out of ten persons you see each day is either stressed out or depressed. As a matter of fact, I do believe that today people spend their time on activities they don't like.
In addition to increasing rate of depression, nowadays it is much harder to find an appropriate job and one can see it from the rate of unemployment; therefore, not everybody pursues their dreams. In fact, individuals stick to the first job that could pay off their life. It is so obvious that the prices are increasing, so people prefer to spend their time on doing an activity that bring them money, so that they can handle their lives. Although lots of people go after their dream jobs; however, there are a lot of people that work just for the sake of money. For example, after I graduated from college for two years I had to work in a lousy office as a secretary, so that I can pay my bills. As soon as I got an opportunity for a better job I quit my previous job.
Apart from the points I made above, there is also another reason that I would like to discuss about. I believe a lot of people work at their youth to save money for their future; that is, some individuals think of the retirement period as a better opportunity for doing their favorite activities and dedicating time to their fun. Obviously this statement depends on the culture, which people grew up in. For example, people of Las Vegas spend much more time on having fun than people of Tehran. My people always had been taught that saving money for the future is the most reasonable thing to do, so many of my people spend their time on doing boring tasks that they even don't like.
By way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I fundamentally disagree with the statement that today a lot of people spend their time on doing fun activities rather than doing things they should do.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Since the beginning of this century, in ...
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... my opinion would be explored below. To begin with, the rate of depression am...
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Suggestion: don't
...ple spend their time on activities they dont like. In addition to increasing ...
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...r time on activities they dont like. In addition to increasing rate of depres...
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...a better job I quit my previous job. Apart from the points I made above, ther...
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...ng fun than people of Tehran. My people always had been taught that saving money for the future...
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...me on doing boring tasks that they even dont like. By way of conclusion, base...
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...ring tasks that they even dont like. By way of conclusion, based on the argum...
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... lot of people spend their time on doing fun activities rather than doing things ...
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Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'first', 'however', 'if', 'so', 'then', 'therefore', 'while', 'apart from', 'for example', 'i mean', 'in addition', 'in fact', 'as a matter of fact', 'in spite of', 'to begin with']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.229508196721 0.229887763892 100% => OK
Verbs: 0.158469945355 0.158761421928 100% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0601092896175 0.0866891130778 69% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0528233151184 0.046263068375 114% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0892531876138 0.0685040099705 130% => OK
Prepositions: 0.173041894353 0.118717715034 146% => OK
Participles: 0.0418943533698 0.0351676179071 119% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.51485520235 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0200364298725 0.0309702414327 65% => OK
Particles: 0.00546448087432 0.00188951952338 289% => OK
Determiners: 0.0746812386157 0.0887237588012 84% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0182149362477 0.0209618222197 87% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0127504553734 0.0139019557991 92% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2852.0 2387.08602151 119% => OK
No of words: 499.0 408.028673835 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.71543086172 5.86048508987 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72634191566 4.48200974243 105% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.296593186373 0.338922669872 88% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.188376753507 0.251872472559 75% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.148296593186 0.174417080927 85% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0901803607214 0.112833075102 80% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51485520235 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.4749498998 0.524397521467 91% => OK
Word variations: 54.8866572119 59.2087087015 93% => OK
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6684587814 97% => OK
Sentence length: 24.95 20.5533526081 121% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.4002203522 48.84282405 128% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.6 120.699889404 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.95 20.5533526081 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.8 0.644075263715 124% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.54480286738 162% => OK
Readability: 43.7876753507 45.7405998639 96% => OK
Elegance: 1.47878787879 1.45489161554 102% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.332427812709 0.300154397459 111% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0933794724103 0.103427244359 90% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0622618284071 0.0752933317313 83% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.514981139931 0.497263757937 104% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.169380094366 0.151897553556 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.125124366713 0.114077575197 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.117024404291 0.0781384742642 150% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.396156091495 0.336927656856 118% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0722861169616 0.067059652881 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.266772608383 0.210909579961 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.124212330552 0.0618886996521 201% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8870967742 59% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.86379928315 285% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.91756272401 41% => OK
Positive topic words: 7.0 8.42114695341 83% => OK
Negative topic words: 10.0 2.4623655914 406% => Less negative topic words wanted.
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.75985663082 72% => OK
Total topic words: 19.0 13.6433691756 139% => OK
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations to cover all aspects.