Do you aree or disagree with the following statement?
Students should not take part time job while they are studying in universities
Some people believe that students shouln't take part-time job along with study in university. On the other hand, other people take the opposite view and say that taking part-time jobs during study in university can be benefical for the students, But I pesonally agree with this statement that students should not take part-time job while they are studying in universities. In other words, from my point of view, its not advisable for students to do work and study simultenously because of three main reasons.
First of all, part-time jobs take lots of time. Students should spend plentiful time and energy on their university courses. As a matter of fact, they should set several hours every day to study their lessons profoundly and do their assingments closely in order to take advantage of university and become successful. But, if they take part-time job, obviously they can't spend so much time on their university materials. For instance, last quarter one of my friends took part-time job and she went to work three eight-hour day in a week, so she hadn't sufficient time for studying and doing her home works well. Therefore, she couldn't catch up the lessons in class. Consequently, at the end of the semester she was failed in the final exam and she had to take that course again next quarter.
Second, students who do part-time jobs mostly isn't paid enough and their wage are very low. Thus, it can't be so helpful and efficacious for them in financial aspect. They do works that most of the time are not related to their field of study and they just increase their workload for slight sum of money. As far as I'm concerned its not worthwhile to allot their time to such a cheap work.
Finally, doing part time job can be so exhausting. All the students require to have free time; that is, they should allocate part of their times for hobbies and all other activities that they enjoy. Students who take part-time job certainly fill all of their times with work and university, so they havn't enough spare time. As a result, they gradually become depressed and cheerless that probably decline their effectiveness in study.
In sum, because of the time-consuming, the low income and being tedious, taking part-time job during study is not proper.
students who do part-time jobs mostly isn't paid enough
students who do part-time jobs mostly aren't paid enough
Sentence: In other words, from my point of view, its not advisable for students to do work and study simultenously because of three main reasons.
Description: A determiner, possessive is not usually followed by a negator
Suggestion: Refer to its and not
Sentence: As far as I'm concerned its not worthwhile to allot their time to such a cheap work.
Description: A determiner, possessive is not usually followed by a negator
Suggestion: Refer to its and not
Sentence: On the other hand, other people take the opposite view and say that taking part-time jobs during study in university can be benefical for the students, But I pesonally agree with this statement that students should not take part-time job while they are studying in universities.
Error: pesonally Suggestion: personally
Error: benefical Suggestion: beneficial
Sentence: In other words, from my point of view, its not advisable for students to do work and study simultenously because of three main reasons.
Error: simultenously Suggestion: simultaneously
Sentence: As a matter of fact, they should set several hours every day to study their lessons profoundly and do their assingments closely in order to take advantage of university and become successful.
Error: assingments Suggestion: assignments
flaws:
There are some duplicated content, for example:
... But I pesonally agree with this statement that students should not take part-time job while they are studying in universities. In other words, from my point of view, its not advisable for students to do work and study simultenously because of three main reasons.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 392 350
No. of Characters: 1822 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.45 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.648 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.489 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 109 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.632 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.527 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.373 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.558 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.145 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5