It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its members. Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society. Which type of contribution do you think is valued more by your society? Give specif

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It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its members. Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society. Which type of contribution do you think is valued more by your society? Give specific reasons to support your answer.

Scientist and artists are the two important group of our modern society; so, which of them has more value? Everyone will answer this question based on his/her own characters, emotional concerns or educational backgrounds. Since a logical response requires an accurate analyses from both sides, I claim that role of scientists is more effective for our society; thus, I present the following justifications.

The first and the most significant aspect that we must consider is that Tele-communications were invented and improved by scientists, while even critics can't raise question on this point. Tele-communications, such as e-mails and mobile phones facilitates human lives and nowadays living without this options is impossible for everyone. People can save considerable amount of money and time by applying Tele communication in their life, thanks to scientists. Moreover, they can keep in touch with their friends and family from all over the world besides making new friends through the internet. As you can see, this is a magnificent invention of scientists for us which made a superior life, and we should appreciate their efforts.

Another noteworthy aspect that should be addressed in this ongoing explanation is that scientists made faster and better circumstances for transportation, meanwhile, underestimating this comment will deprive us from a perfect judgment. Invention of the cars and plants, was a huge step in facilitating the transportation and traveling, which resulted to creating many opportunities for people around the world. People in this current modern society can't go further in their works without utilizing these equipment for traveling, and we can consider cars as the most essential things for our life.

Admittedly, there are some good contributions of the artists for society too, and we shouldn't be unaware of this point. A great painting from an experienced artists can make people to enjoy and admire it, however, I believe that people can enjoy the nature more than a painting. Also, scientists can create many amazing painting with LED lamps that are as attractive as painting of an artist.

To sum up, I don't deny that artists contributed for our society, but taking all the factors into account and careful analyzing all aspects, I assert that scientists had a vital value for our community.

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I claim that role of scientists is more effective
I claim that the role of scientists is more effective

Tele-communications, such as e-mails and mobile phones facilitates human lives
Tele-communications, such as e-mails and mobile phones facilitate human lives

Sentence: Tele-communications, such as e-mails and mobile phones facilitates human lives and nowadays living without this options is impossible for everyone.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and options

Invention of the cars and plants, was a huge step
the Invention of the cars and plants was a huge step

flaws:
Need to compare more in the second and third paragraphs:
'Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society.'

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Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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No. of Words: 373 350
No. of Characters: 1923 1500
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.395 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.155 4.6
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 5.691 7.5
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.142 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5