In order to attract more tourists the government could either improve safety by hiring more police or improve its appearance by repairing old buildings and streets Which way do you think is more effective | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

In order to attract more tourists, the government could either improve safety by hiring more police or improve its appearance by repairing old buildings and streets. Which way do you think is more effective?

Nowadays, most local governments have noticed the positive correlation between economy and tourism, that is, a bourgeoning tourism contributes to a booming economy. This is why the issue how to boost tourism industry has received extensive attention. While some may claim that improving security via the recruitment of more police is an effective way of attracting tourists, others contend that the best way lies in the renovation of buildings and streets. As for me, I am inclined to side with the latter.
To begin with the renovation of old buildings and streets helps to preserve culture. The old buildings in many cities as well as old streets may serve as the city's landmark and symbolize the city’s culture. In fact, it is exactly the long-lasting charm of each city’s distinctive culture that many tourists wish to witness with their own eyes during each journey. Nonetheless, as years pass by, many traditional buildings and streets have become too old to hold any visitors. Only through meticulous renewal can these attractions once again showcase their cultural enchantment and hearty life-force. Take Tai Mahal the white marble mausoleum in India as an example. Reputed as the crown of palaces, Taj Mahal now attracts more than three million visitors each year However, during the time of the Indian rebellion of 1857, Taj Mahal was severely defaced by the British soldiers through the chiseling out of many precious stones. It is the sweeping restoration at the end of the 19th century that brings Taj Mahal to its present glory and boosts the development of India's tourism as well as economy.
Moreover, repairing the buildings and streets helps to enhance the travel experience as well. To be more detailed, tourists will enjoy more as long as the city provides convenient and comfortable facilities. Consequently, people tend to choose those sightseeing places which boast of high-quality accommodations. An illustration may make this point clear. During recent years, an increasing number of people prefer self-conducted tours. And when arranging their own itinerary and schedule, most people will set their destinations’ facilities as a priority, which guarantee the comfort and convenience of their tour. In their minds as long as the city is built with convenient streets and beautiful auxiliary facilities, they can truly appreciate its charm and enjoy their vacation. In other words, renovated buildings and streets attract more tourists.
Granted, hiring more police can, to some extent, help attract tourists since it helps to improve the city’s security standard. These days, there has emerged a growing trend for people to organize family tours. For those people, security must also be high on their list of consideration as they must pay special attention to the safety of the children and/or the elderly. As a result, cities with more police force are more attractive for them. However, only focusing on police force is not at all enough in terms of developing the tourism industry. Without any distinctive scenic spots or historical sites, no visitors would come, in spite of high security standard.
In retrospect, the most effective way for governments to attract more tourists is to renovate buildings and streets so as to preserve the city’s culture and enhance the tourists’ travel experience.

Votes

Essay Categories

Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 140, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[1]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...more detailed, tourists will enjoy more as long as the city provides convenient an...
^^
Line 5, column 117, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...ts is to renovate buildings and streets so as to preserve the city’s culture and enhance...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, however, if, may, moreover, nonetheless, so, well, while, as for, as to, in fact, as a result, as well as, in other words, in spite of, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 29.0 43.0788530466 67% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 8.0752688172 211% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2812.0 1977.66487455 142% => OK
No of words: 534.0 407.700716846 131% => OK
Chars per words: 5.265917603 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80712388197 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82158971399 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 287.0 212.727598566 135% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.537453183521 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 855.0 618.680645161 138% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.9118436021 48.9658058833 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.148148148 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7777777778 20.6045352989 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.44444444444 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 21.0 11.8709677419 177% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.292828218273 0.236089414692 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.075517241938 0.076458572812 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.091405556308 0.0737576698707 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178307708996 0.150856017488 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0500142072812 0.0645574589148 77% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 11.7677419355 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 10.9000537634 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.69 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 139.0 86.8835125448 160% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments