Thanks to advances in new product technologies, the World has become smaller than ever been. Companies can conduct their business or sell their product overseas countries. To sell more product means high profit and in order to gain high profit companies have to recruit worker with skilled. Today’s companies are looking for graduates with high organization ability. At this point, organizational capabilities has becoming more and more important at the universities. I believe that in some majors, organizational activities is more important than academic studies. I have several reasons for having that opinion.
First of all, I believe that activities such as clubs, may lead to gain experiences. Today’s education system was designed after II World War. It should change because It does not need today’s needs. The experiences are became more useful in real life than academic studies. For example, when I was a student in university I started internship too early so I can get enough education at my university.
Secondly, Club Organizations is first step of worklife. When you are in a club you can learn structure of modern companies. Furthermore, Clubs are also enjoyable organizations. On the one hand, The organization help to improve yourself, on the other hand you have to chance to travel cheap. You can make travel to the different place with your group. Thus you can have enjoyable time. For example, when I was a student at university. I and my friend went to Microsoft and meet with many high level workers. Even I had a chance to work as a intern.
To sum up, Modern companies are searching the job experiences on the resumes. I believe that Universities organization are more important than academic studies for student in some major.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 6, column 231, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'become'.
Suggestion: become
...today's needs. The experiences are became more useful in real life than academic ...
^^^^^^
Line 8, column 57, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...rganizations is first step of worklife. When you are in a club you can learn structu...
^^^^
Line 8, column 352, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...to the different place with your group. Thus you can have enjoyable time. For exampl...
^^^^
Line 8, column 539, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...workers. Even I had a chance to work as a intern. To sum up, Modern companies ...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, thus, for example, such as, first of all, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 43.0788530466 65% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 52.1666666667 67% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1497.0 1977.66487455 76% => OK
No of words: 289.0 407.700716846 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.17993079585 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.12310562562 4.48103885553 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.02037873574 2.67179642975 113% => OK
Unique words: 159.0 212.727598566 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.550173010381 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 473.4 618.680645161 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Interrogative: 3.0 0.994623655914 302% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 12.0 20.1344086022 60% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 25.2051694521 48.9658058833 51% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 65.0869565217 100.406767564 65% => OK
Words per sentence: 12.5652173913 20.6045352989 61% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.78260869565 5.45110844103 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.197482643018 0.236089414692 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0548952332621 0.076458572812 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.079433118908 0.0737576698707 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13228245906 0.150856017488 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0765202262064 0.0645574589148 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.3 11.7677419355 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.3 58.1214874552 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 10.1575268817 79% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.88 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.46 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 86.8835125448 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 6.8 10.0537634409 68% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.