Some famous athletes and entertainers earn millions of dollars every year. Do you think these people deserve such high salaries? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

One of the most popular activities in the world is following sports teams and their favorite athletes. This gives the athletes and their coaches much salaries than another jobs. I think, for many reasons they deserve it.

One of the reasons I think is that, from an early age, they have been focusing on one sport at time. Many times, they fail and become frustrated. Many of them suffer serious injuries and have to quit the sport. And many of them with the hard damages, they continue on their way. Sometimes some young people are interested in sports but do not have the money to hire good coaches, so they work different places to get their budget. They get tired most of the time, but they never give up on the dream of winning a world championship. I remember, when I was 6_year_old, I started learning of horse riding and that was so hard for me. After hours of practice, I won my first children's race at the age of 10. Although I fell out of the horse many times and got injured, but I continued because I loved riding. After a few years at the age of 17, I won a teenager's competition in England and went on different tours and different horse races. Qatar's Equestrian School also accepted me, but I refused them and I wanted to become an Olympic champion. Unfortunately, in my last race at the age of 20, my horse leg broke and I was thrown off the horse and immediately taken me to the hospital with very hard injuries by helicopter and I was eliminated from the race. After a long resting time, I returned to the sport again and this time began Lifesaving and Diving career and won several medals nationally.

Second, it is difficult to earn a national and even global medal as an athlete. All sports are also part of entertaining people to relax and think about other things. Sometimes following sports teams can be a serious issue. In some countries, after losing a team in the stadiums, people get fighting to each other. So, it is important to invest in athletes and get them high salaries. Most of their salaries are spent on coaching and practicing. That is to say, it is the job of every athlete to be a champion in his profession. For example, when the Iranian youth volleyball team won Championships, made all the Iranians around the world happy, including when I was abroad. This championship brought pride to all Iranians. Also, the government gave them money as a gift.

In a conclusion, being a champion in a sporting career brings a sense of patriotism and national pride, but on the other hand, it also brings fame and fortune that every champion has the right to live the best life possible through hard work and endurance.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 146, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...is gives the athletes and their coaches much salaries than another jobs. I think, fo...
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Line 3, column 851, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'teenagers'' or 'teenager's'?
Suggestion: teenagers'; teenager's
...r a few years at the age of 17, I won a teenagers competition in England and went on diff...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... and won several medals nationally. Second, it is difficult to earn a nation...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...vernment gave them money as a gift. In a conclusion, being a champion in a s...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, so, for example, i think, on the other hand, that is to say

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 9.8082437276 10% => OK
Conjunction : 28.0 13.8261648746 203% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2190.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 479.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.57202505219 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67825486995 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55352352443 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 246.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.51356993737 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 681.3 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 49.2599554392 48.9658058833 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 81.1111111111 100.406767564 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.7407407407 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.2962962963 5.45110844103 60% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.100134322582 0.236089414692 42% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0294601083303 0.076458572812 39% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0376956867986 0.0737576698707 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0680970417082 0.150856017488 45% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0404450106998 0.0645574589148 63% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.0 11.7677419355 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 58.1214874552 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.93 10.9000537634 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.48 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.