Some lessons for young students (5~8 years old) increase their interest to learn including video games. But some people believe it will distract young student. What is your opinion? Why?
In this modern day and age, thanks to recent advancements in technology, gaming consoles are becoming more and more affordable for families. Therefore, the rate at which consoles are becoming widespread is alarmingly on the rise. A question that might arise is that whether video games negatively impact children's disposition towards educational material or not. Though this question is yet to be answered definitely, I utterly subscribe to this idea that perhaps playing video games to a moderate extent can enhance children's attraction to learning. To discuss this, there are several advantages and setbacks, one from each, are explained in detail in the following.
First and foremost, when children play video games, their overall brain activity increases drastically. To be more precise, when playing video games, both of their brains' hemispheres get involved on a significant level. As a consequence, certain parts of the neural network of their brain strengthen. This results in an enhancement in their learning capability. It goes without saying that one of the main reasons that some students are reluctant to learning academic subjects stems from the fact that they feel like they are not learning as efficiently as they should and this, in fact, discourages them from learning. Recent research conducted at the Sharif University of Technology yielded several statistics one of which illustrates that one of the main causes that children believe their learn efficacy is low is that, in fact, some parts of their brain have not developed yet to absorb the material properly. Playing video games can be a good means to help young children to be more attracted to learning.
On the other hand, sometimes video games might make the children lazy. It is no secret that once children start playing video games, they don't feel like doing anything else because it is so much fun in comparison to other stuff. Since young children are unable to prioritize important tasks, they will play and play until they feel really tired. I am of the strong conviction that most children believe playing video games excites them more than learning activities of any kind. As a result, this excessive amount of playing videogames definitely adversely affects their concentration levels since even though they might be doing something else, they are constantly thinking about getting back in front of their console because the previous experiences were something else. Thus, even when they are asked to focus on a certain educational activity, they simply can't because they are too obsessed with playing video games each and every hour. If parents do not snap into action as quickly as possible, it might be too late to reverse this dire trend.
To wrap it up, contemplating on what was discussed above, I am of the opinion that playing videogames only moderately can improve the attraction to learn in young children between five and eight because on the one hand, playing videogames actively engages certain parts of their brain that is directly associated with their capability to learn but on the other hand, they might delve so deep into the world of videogames that mentally speaking, there would be no space left for them to put time and effort into anything else.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 139, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...hildren start playing video games, they dont feel like doing anything else because i...
^^^^
Line 5, column 862, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...rtain educational activity, they simply cant because they are too obsessed with play...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, really, so, then, therefore, thus, in fact, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 15.1003584229 179% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.0286738351 172% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 72.0 52.1666666667 138% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2736.0 1977.66487455 138% => OK
No of words: 534.0 407.700716846 131% => OK
Chars per words: 5.12359550562 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80712388197 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63046695901 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 268.0 212.727598566 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.501872659176 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 843.3 618.680645161 136% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 106.529620294 48.9658058833 218% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 136.8 100.406767564 136% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.7 20.6045352989 130% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.5 5.45110844103 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.171082128435 0.236089414692 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0541346622139 0.076458572812 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0341402224428 0.0737576698707 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.106656659218 0.150856017488 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0469076192677 0.0645574589148 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 11.7677419355 136% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 58.1214874552 78% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 10.9000537634 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.44 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 86.8835125448 137% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.