Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The argument above asserts that students by increasing their scores can obtain money from their parents as a reward. A simple recognition of the argument lends our discussion to a very indispensable question of how we can stimulate students to get high scores in the school? Although it is broadly based argument which cannot summed up in a word or so, we need look no further than the fact that some students work and study simultaneously. So money can evoke the indescribable feeling in student to get high marks. That having been considered, I however adhere to this belief that parents should persuade students by giving money for each high grade for the reasons will be illustrated at length in subsequent paragraphs.
First and foremost, the crux of the matter lies in the fact that, parents should support they children even in school. They should prepare financial money for them and give them food for thought. Students need a impetus factor to invoke to get high marks. In better words, students can acquire money after they get good grades in school and so that this gratifies them immensely. Giving money to student would pave the way for them to establish a cordial rapport with their parents. Although they can learn better than before in educational settings. The best point that fit this notion is that in some complicated course such as mathematical, physic and chemistry money can help students to have peace of mind and concentrate on these complex courses to get high marks. It goes without saying that giving money to students from parents to get good marks is the stimuli factor which there are some benefits associated with that.
Aside from inducing student to get good marks by giving money as a bonus, we cannot lose our side on the fact that some students work and study concurrent. This act can effect on their performance and decrease their marks in some courses. By giving money as a prize to students, they can procure income and get good grades in school. Gain money help students to be success in future. The learn some salutary lessons when they work and study simultaneously. To put it in apposite words, giving money to students is the ideal opportunity to prepare them for job opportunities in the future. For the purpose of the illustration let’s take the example of one of my friend who works for Microsoft company. As far as I can recollect he obtain money when we were in high school. Their parents support him for getting good marks by giving money as reward. Now he has a highly regarded job in the world because of that support. As is clear, students should work after finishing school and this strategy can help them to have better understanding about the world around them.
To wrap it up, I aver that students should concentrate on their courses and parents can support them by giving money as a bonus to get brilliant marks.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Although it is broadly based argument which cannot summed up in a word or so, we need look no further than the fact that some students work and study simultaneously.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to cannot and summed
parents should support they children even in school.
parents should support their children even in school.
This act can effect on their performance
This act can affect on their performance
Sentence: The learn some salutary lessons when they work and study simultaneously.
Description: An article is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to The and learn
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 499 350
No. of Characters: 2335 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.726 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.679 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.46 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 159 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.96 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.743 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.24 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.446 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.175 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 211, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ve them food for thought. Students need a impetus factor to invoke to get high ma...
^
Line 3, column 484, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...h a cordial rapport with their parents. Although they can learn better than before in ed...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 374, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
... Gain money help students to be success in future. The learn some salutary lessons when t...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 385, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
... help students to be success in future. The learn some salutary lessons when they work an...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 702, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...friend who works for Microsoft company. As far as I can recollect he obtain money ...
^^
Line 5, column 731, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'obtains'.
Suggestion: obtains
...t company. As far as I can recollect he obtain money when we were in high school. Thei...
^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['first', 'however', 'if', 'look', 'so', 'such as']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.236499068901 0.229887763892 103% => OK
Verbs: 0.162011173184 0.158761421928 102% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0707635009311 0.0866891130778 82% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0353817504655 0.046263068375 76% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0707635009311 0.0685040099705 103% => OK
Prepositions: 0.148975791434 0.118717715034 125% => OK
Participles: 0.0372439478585 0.0351676179071 106% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.53400612933 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0391061452514 0.0309702414327 126% => OK
Particles: 0.00372439478585 0.00188951952338 197% => OK
Determiners: 0.0875232774674 0.0887237588012 99% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0372439478585 0.0209618222197 178% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0130353817505 0.0139019557991 94% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2882.0 2387.08602151 121% => OK
No of words: 499.0 408.028673835 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.7755511022 5.86048508987 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72634191566 4.48200974243 105% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.336673346693 0.338922669872 99% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.228456913828 0.251872472559 91% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.138276553106 0.174417080927 79% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0721442885772 0.112833075102 64% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53400612933 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.440881763527 0.524397521467 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 50.1697864887 59.2087087015 85% => OK
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6684587814 121% => OK
Sentence length: 19.96 20.5533526081 97% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.4118222493 48.84282405 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.28 120.699889404 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.96 20.5533526081 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.24 0.644075263715 37% => More Discourse Markers wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.54480286738 108% => OK
Readability: 42.8056913828 45.7405998639 94% => OK
Elegance: 1.57638888889 1.45489161554 108% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.311035314248 0.300154397459 104% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0929186931165 0.103427244359 90% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.064564041363 0.0752933317313 86% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.450007063344 0.497263757937 90% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.153358145985 0.151897553556 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.127062159942 0.114077575197 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0487993302209 0.0781384742642 62% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.533664473909 0.336927656856 158% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.100177736584 0.067059652881 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.234885527218 0.210909579961 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.058018367301 0.0618886996521 94% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8870967742 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.86379928315 52% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.91756272401 122% => OK
Positive topic words: 17.0 8.42114695341 202% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 2.4623655914 81% => OK
Neutral topic words: 5.0 2.75985663082 181% => OK
Total topic words: 24.0 13.6433691756 176% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 78.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.