Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Today, because of existing several tools to change the view of children from school and education to other things, then parents have always been trying to encourage the children to focus on their lessons. Some people have found that paying money to the children to persuade them and others use another way to thank the children because of getting a good grade. In my opinion, this method, offering money, is not a good and effectiveness road.
First, the children's expectations are increased by receiving money. They always expect to achieve money because of doing a work, studying the lessons and so forth. This method influence the children's opinion about people, who live around them, and they may imagine that all people should give them money as a prize when they complete a duty. Psychological researches show that children, who grow by this way, will become expectance-persons and also anyone cannot change their opinion, then it provides some serious problems to them in the future. Although it may encourage them to attain high grade in every lesson, they will be face with such problems. They are going to be an individual that might does not the responsibility in the society correctly, thus anyone cannot rely on them.
In addition, some families are not rich to give the children money every time. When poor-children hear these stories from their wealth-children who have acquired money, they will be upset and they may think yourself that the parents do not love them, do not pay attention to them much and so forth. Therefore, they grow with this view and also they maintain this belief forever and never forget. For example, I have a friend since my intermediate-school times that his family were rich and always were gave him a prize when he got high mark in the lessons. Moreover, he told us about his prizes, whereas there were some poor-students that never could not receive money from their parents. Now, when I visit them and talk about past with each other, they always say about those wealth-students and have never forgot.
In summary, although the children will be happy when receive prizes as a result of getting high-grade in the school, this method will be such essential influences not only receivers' money people but also their friend. Who can ignore these negative effects and give money to children?
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 491, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[10]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'were' and 'gave'.
Suggestion: were always gave
...ool times that his family were rich and always were gave him a prize when he got high mark in th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 503, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'given'.
Suggestion: given
...at his family were rich and always were gave him a prize when he got high mark in th...
^^^^
Line 5, column 809, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'forgotten'.
Suggestion: forgotten
...ut those wealth-students and have never forgot. In summary, although the children ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 173, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'receivers'' or 'receiver's'?
Suggestion: receivers'; receiver's
...l be such essential influences not only receivers money people but also their friend. Who...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, thus, whereas, for example, in addition, in summary, as a result, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1950.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 394.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.94923857868 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45527027702 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62120694768 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.52538071066 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 586.8 618.680645161 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Interrogative: 5.0 0.994623655914 503% => Less interrogative sentences wanted.
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.9212872453 48.9658058833 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.705882353 100.406767564 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1764705882 20.6045352989 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.82352941176 5.45110844103 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.349772490236 0.236089414692 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.113069020605 0.076458572812 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0477435324448 0.0737576698707 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.225106536058 0.150856017488 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.041221027544 0.0645574589148 64% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 11.7677419355 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.73 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.94 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.