Students of a university have a long break between university semesters; the university requires all students to do one of the following for one month during the break:
1.Students must take a course on the subject that has no direct connection to their majors of study (For example, a student majoring in engineering may take course in fine arts or social science.)
2. Students must volunteer to work in the university’s city or their hometowns to improve some aspects of life of the city or their own town. (For example, students may help local primary school children with their homework.) Which one do you think is more beneficial for students in their university? Why?
There is no shortage of debate about how should students spend their time between semesters break. Although many believe it is better for students to take a course on the subject that has no direct connection to their majors, I, on the other hand, believe it is better for students to do volunteer work in the cities or their hometowns. I will address the most discernible reasons why I fell this way in the following.
To begin with, many people attending university in order to be prepared for their future career. Although, students learn many teoritical knowledge in universities, but they do not learn much about how these informations and knowledges works in real world. Thus, having related job to university students not only improves their performance in the class, but also it helps them gain some experience and find better job in future. My own experience is a good example of this. When I was a university student I always got medium grads in all of my major related courses. In my second years of study, one of my professor encouraged me to work in his company as a volunteer. Because he thought all student must have real world experiences during their studying, duo to the fact that it will helps them to understand better in class. I accepted his offer, and after a while to my surprise, I did better in all my classes, because I could easy understand what my professors says and I saw how that information works in real world. Admittedly, after my graduation I had a good resume, hence I found great job in decent company with high salary. This example illustrate that how volunteer job helps student to have better performance in their classes.
Moreover, cities special in developing country can use universities students help to improve their infrastructure. For instance, in my country Iran, university students, specially whom their major is engineer and art, help to improves cities appearance and rebuild and design infrastructure with their supervisor during summer break. However, cities authority do some construction during year, but because Iran is one of the developing country they do not have enough money to complete all of their project. Consequently, students volunteer works help us to have better cities.
In conclusion, it is for all the aforementioned reasons, I firmly believe doing volunteer works is more beneficial for university students during their semester breaks. This is because it helps them to gain some experience and improve their performance in the class, and because it helps other citizen to have better place to live.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 421, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...ain some experience and find better job in future. My own experience is a good example of...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 477, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...n experience is a good example of this. When I was a university student I always got...
^^^^
Line 3, column 789, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'help'
Suggestion: help
... studying, duo to the fact that it will helps them to understand better in class. I a...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1153, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'illustrates'.
Suggestion: illustrates
... company with high salary. This example illustrate that how volunteer job helps student to...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 227, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'improve'.
Suggestion: improve
...heir major is engineer and art, help to improves cities appearance and rebuild and desig...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, hence, however, moreover, second, so, thus, while, for instance, in conclusion, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2154.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 431.0 407.700716846 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99767981439 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55637350225 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81963939732 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.487238979118 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 668.7 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.2016814994 48.9658058833 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.368421053 100.406767564 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6842105263 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.21052631579 5.45110844103 132% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.322359215992 0.236089414692 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104864046852 0.076458572812 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0758554170514 0.0737576698707 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.219522693669 0.150856017488 146% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0391099674261 0.0645574589148 61% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 11.7677419355 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.66 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 86.8835125448 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.