Having close relationship with extended family is very important for their psychological behaviour. Some research showed that people with close relation with extended family are happier than other people. In my idea, extended family are less important than it was in the past. I have two main reason for my idea which comes in the reminder of this essay.
First, People are very busy these days. Today, people need to work more to manage families economical issues. In some cases people need to work on two jobs just to handle cost of living. This overtime working will take lots of time and people will not have enough time to be with their extended family. After period of time, this will put the extended family in second priority and make them less important. For instance, In my country, Iran, Tehran is crowded city and people spend lot of time in working and research showed that people don't have enough time to see their extended family.
Second, people want independant life. Sometimes having close relationship with extended family will cause interference in people private life. This happens in small cities. Because families have close relationship with each other and this bothers people. I have same experience that can be mention in this field. I am from little town in north of my country named Amol. This city is really small and families are having close relationship with each other. When I became mature, I understood that staying with my families endangers my independant life. Hence, I moved to Tehran and as a consequence, I missed my touch with extended family.
In a conclusion, two main thinks play an important role in the importance of extended family. As I mentioned, This factors include engaging of people with work and interference of other families in their life. I think that by the growth of this problems people are missing their touch with extended family.
- TOEFL T P O 21 Integrated Writing Task 81
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- TPO-48 - Integrated Writing Task In recent years, many frog species around the world have declined in numbers or even gone extinct due to changes in their environment. These population declines and extinctions have serious consequences for the ecosystems 81
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- TPO-09 - Integrated Writing Task Car manufacturers and governments have been eagerly seeking a replacement for the automobile's main source of power, the internal-combustion engine. By far the most promising alternative source of energy for cars is the hy 73
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...h comes in the reminder of this essay. First, People are very busy these days. ...
^^
Line 2, column 93, Rule ID: ECONOMICAL_ECONOMIC[1]
Message: Did you mean 'economic' (=connected with economy)?
Suggestion: economic
...le need to work more to manage families economical issues. In some cases people need to wo...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 311, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...to be with their extended family. After period of time, this will put the extended family in s...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 540, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...working and research showed that people dont have enough time to see their extended ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ugh time to see their extended family. Second, people want independant life. So...
^^
Line 3, column 269, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'experienced'.
Suggestion: experienced
...er and this bothers people. I have same experience that can be mention in this field. I am...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... missed my touch with extended family. In a conclusion, two main thinks play an...
^^
Line 4, column 309, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ssing their touch with extended family.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, hence, if, really, second, so, for instance, i think, in some cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 38.0 43.0788530466 88% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1577.0 1977.66487455 80% => OK
No of words: 320.0 407.700716846 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.928125 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22948505376 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47889332352 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 151.0 212.727598566 71% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.471875 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 504.0 618.680645161 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.8911177043 48.9658058833 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 71.6818181818 100.406767564 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.5454545455 20.6045352989 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.36363636364 5.45110844103 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.88709677419 225% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.148766731966 0.236089414692 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0597485440093 0.076458572812 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0619461802925 0.0737576698707 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.115888828453 0.150856017488 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0608859078807 0.0645574589148 94% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.1 11.7677419355 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.8 10.1575268817 87% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.72 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.39 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 62.0 86.8835125448 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.