TPO-21 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans

Nowadays the development of technology provides a variety of job opportunities. Finding a job is no more the issue. Moreover being beneficial, successful in, and eligible for one specific job become the issue amongst people. In this regard, many people think the ability to relate well to people is more important. There are others opinion that in order to be successful in a job, it is more important to study hard in school. I am personally in favor of the latter approach. I assert my viewpoint for two reasons and will illustrate them in the following.
The first aspect to point out is, having a strong educational background indicates the personal responsibility. When someone studies hard in school that means he is willing to dedicate himself to achieve success and will do the same in a job position. To clarify my point, let us take a Harward student as an example. Researches show that the students of the most important universities in the world such as Harward are more responsible in their jobs rather than other employees came from other universities. It strongly indicates that studying hard leads to more success in job positions.
Apart from the point made above, when a person goes to university, he gains many experiences. He becomes familiar with many arrangments. To be more clear, being in school provides an environment in which, one can practice the steps toward success, according to that, he has a better chance to become successful in his job. Let me take myself as an example, when I was in university, I faced many hardships that I conquered by patient and effort. These experiences have coined to my mind, and every time I face a difficulty in my job, I try to recall my university's experiences and learn from there in order to solve my current problem. It was a favor that university ave me.
All in all, based on the foregoing points and examples, I really believe that a strong educational background is a key to being successful in the future job. Although some people think that having the ability to relate well to people is more important, I think, one can achieve these abilities in school too with many other beneficial features, Due to this fact, I rather to asserts that studying hard in school leads to a successful future job.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 117, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...es. Finding a job is no more the issue. Moreover being beneficial, successful in, and el...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, moreover, really, so, well, apart from, i think, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1881.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 393.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.78625954198 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45244063426 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83444341956 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 212.727598566 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.516539440204 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 608.4 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.2385732484 48.9658058833 127% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.05 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.65 20.6045352989 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.35 5.45110844103 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.276258413134 0.236089414692 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0820190739333 0.076458572812 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0774077261856 0.0737576698707 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.187410472402 0.150856017488 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0753012918263 0.0645574589148 117% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.5 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.03 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.