The majority of people who are in their early to mid-twenties think that children’s choosing jobs that are very different from their parents’ job is better than are similar to their parents’ jobs. They support that children’s view would be narrow and limited by their parents. However, the notion does not have the stance that I hold and should not be thought about in a different light. I believe that children’s choosing jobs that are similar to their parents’ jobs is better because they are able to have many opportunities to promote their position and get a lot of job opportunities by their parents.
First of all, children’s similar jobs to their parents are beneficial in that they are able to have many opportunities to promote their position. To be specific, it is advantageous for children to receive advice from their parents, which as a result guide them to correct way in an early age. In today’s fast-paced world, companies in modern society require people with advanced knowledge, although they lack of experience of that business area. However, it would be filed by their parents’ advice because their parents have already enough experience to satisfy this requirement from companies. For example, I am a project manager of novel business development department in Samsung Electronics Corporation. To be honest, it is too huge for me to manage this department. However, my both father and mother have similar jobs to mine and advice every time when I am in trouble. It makes me to promote my position from an employee to the manager. Thus, this proves that choosing jobs that are similar to parents’ jobs are better than are different from parents’ jobs because they could have a lot of opportunities to promote their position.
Moreover, a lot of opportunities to get better jobs are expected by parents’ advice. In addition, their parents, having broad connections with their friends who are executives of leading corporations and C.E.O, help their children to be an employee of some companies. Korean cherishes relationship with friends from long time ago. This is because it helps them to be beneficial in the case of having problems. For instance, a study done by The Korean Herald, it revealed that people who have similar jobs to what their parents have tend to be easy to be employee at some companies than people who have different from their parents’ jobs. The study indicated that 65 percent of employees in ten companies have similar jobs to their parents, while only 35 percent of employees are different from their parents’ jobs. This was because their parents not only give advice to them but also have connection with the executives in that company. Hence, it is legitimate to say that people who have similar jobs to their parents are more likely to have a lot of opportunities to get a job because of their parents’ connection.
To sum up, I believe that children’s choosing jobs that are similar to their parents’ jobs is better because they are able to have many opportunities to promote their position and get a lot of job opportunities by their parents. Consequently, the importance of my views cannot be underestimated in that it can kill two birds with one stone for the reasons I have mentioned above.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 162, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...ng broad connections with their friends who are executives of leading corporations and ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 213, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: O
...cutives of leading corporations and C.E.O, help their children to be an employee ...
^
Line 3, column 537, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'tended'.
Suggestion: tended
...similar jobs to what their parents have tend to be easy to be employee at some compa...
^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'consequently', 'first', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'moreover', 'so', 'thus', 'while', 'for example', 'for instance', 'in addition', 'as a result', 'first of all', 'to sum up']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.26113671275 0.229887763892 114% => OK
Verbs: 0.152073732719 0.158761421928 96% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0645161290323 0.0866891130778 74% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0353302611367 0.046263068375 76% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0829493087558 0.0685040099705 121% => OK
Prepositions: 0.121351766513 0.118717715034 102% => OK
Participles: 0.0230414746544 0.0351676179071 66% => OK
Conjunctions: 3.07647954559 2.67179642975 115% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0537634408602 0.0309702414327 174% => OK
Particles: 0.00153609831029 0.00188951952338 81% => OK
Determiners: 0.0537634408602 0.0887237588012 61% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.00921658986175 0.0209618222197 44% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0184331797235 0.0139019557991 133% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3332.0 2387.08602151 140% => OK
No of words: 549.0 408.028673835 135% => OK
Chars per words: 6.06921675774 5.86048508987 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.84053189512 4.48200974243 108% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.344262295082 0.338922669872 102% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.27868852459 0.251872472559 111% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.189435336976 0.174417080927 109% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.131147540984 0.112833075102 116% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.07647954559 2.67179642975 115% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 212.727598566 94% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.364298724954 0.524397521467 69% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 42.4826887476 59.2087087015 72% => OK
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6684587814 111% => OK
Sentence length: 23.8695652174 20.5533526081 116% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.5243436793 48.84282405 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.869565217 120.699889404 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.8695652174 20.5533526081 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.739130434783 0.644075263715 115% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.54480286738 54% => OK
Readability: 51.7384176764 45.7405998639 113% => OK
Elegance: 1.5 1.45489161554 103% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.553415348821 0.300154397459 184% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.17069375889 0.103427244359 165% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.172626817281 0.0752933317313 229% => Ideas in sentences are similar.
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.516024783468 0.497263757937 104% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.187809763031 0.151897553556 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.247967108813 0.114077575197 217% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.165678157655 0.0781384742642 212% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.648265198882 0.336927656856 192% => Paragraphs have same ideas.
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0314840434816 0.067059652881 47% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.483385448803 0.210909579961 229% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0393329403723 0.0618886996521 64% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8870967742 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.86379928315 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.91756272401 61% => OK
Positive topic words: 15.0 8.42114695341 178% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 2.4623655914 122% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 2.75985663082 109% => OK
Total topic words: 21.0 13.6433691756 154% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Less content wanted. Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.