TPO-34 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking Web site.U

Education is a of prosperity; for nations and individuals. With advancing of technology, there are advantages and disadvantages for education in our times. It is much easier to obtain information from websites and learn different kind of skills via online media. However, there are some disadvantages that must be considered such as fascinating online games, and social media that bring people together with minimum efforts. These distractions could be devistating in the process of education, and could cause distraction. Thus parents should supervise their children behaviors towards this mediums. Let me elaborate myself with two reasons.

First, online games are very seductive and time consuming. Game companies make attractive games with many features that could easily lure the young into playing them day and night, and cause them to be addicted to these games. For instance, my cousin; Fariman, was addicted to computer games. He spent most of the hours of a day playing games, whether it was computer games, or online games. He even sometimes were visiting game centers. That process cause him to be very distracted. He couldn't consentrate on lessons is his school, or his homework, and eventually got poor grades in high school. Even now that he is in university, he can't help himself playing video games. To summarize, there are lots of children having Fariman's addiction to games, and it affect their lives adversely.

Second, with spreading social networks, it is very easy to be in contact with everyone you know. It is wonderful that people could easily be in touch with their relatives, but it also has it's downsides. The urge of getting data on other people status, sharing pictures with others as well as seeing them, could cause spending a lot of hours surfing on these social networks. For instance, my other cousin, Parham, can't help himself spending lots of his time of social networks like Facebook, Instagram, and other networks. He is so drown in them he couldn't even realize how time consuming this could be. He can't prioritize his works. Therefore he suffers in some aspects of his life. For example his relationship with his family is getting colder, and he is getting angrier because he feels fraustrated.

Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking web sites. It is essential that parents supervise their kids in using this medias, to prevent them from addiction to these media and have a prosperous life of their own in the future.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 14, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
Education is a of prosperity; for nations and individu...
^
Line 1, column 587, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...ervise their children behaviors towards this mediums. Let me elaborate myself with t...
^^^^
Line 3, column 488, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...ess cause him to be very distracted. He couldnt consentrate on lessons is his school, o...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 636, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
.... Even now that he is in university, he cant help himself playing video games. To su...
^^^^
Line 3, column 636, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'cants'.
Suggestion: cants
.... Even now that he is in university, he cant help himself playing video games. To su...
^^^^
Line 3, column 654, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[9]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to play' or 'play'.
Suggestion: to play; play
... is in university, he cant help himself playing video games. To summarize, there are lo...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 759, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'affects'?
Suggestion: affects
...ing Farimans addiction to games, and it affect their lives adversely. Second, with...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 415, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... For instance, my other cousin, Parham, cant help himself spending lots of his time ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 433, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[9]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to spend' or 'spend'.
Suggestion: to spend; spend
...other cousin, Parham, cant help himself spending lots of his time of social networks lik...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 550, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...her networks. He is so drown in them he couldnt even realize how time consuming this co...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 608, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ze how time consuming this could be. He cant prioritize his works. Therefore he suff...
^^^^
Line 5, column 608, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'cants'.
Suggestion: cants
...ze how time consuming this could be. He cant prioritize his works. Therefore he suff...
^^^^
Line 5, column 635, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...could be. He cant prioritize his works. Therefore he suffers in some aspects of his life....
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, second, so, therefore, thus, well, even so, for example, for instance, kind of, such as, you know, as well as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 15.1003584229 172% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2159.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 428.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04439252336 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.548423998 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64349205908 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.525700934579 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 667.8 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 11.0 1.86738351254 589% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.5408568246 48.9658058833 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.0384615385 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.4615384615 20.6045352989 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.38461538462 5.45110844103 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.5376344086 235% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.85842293907 259% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.227980904323 0.236089414692 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0635876456799 0.076458572812 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.125998622258 0.0737576698707 171% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.173665385787 0.150856017488 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.131573574425 0.0645574589148 204% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 11.7677419355 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.3 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 86.8835125448 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.