TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Human kind needs incentive to improve himself and children need more attention and encouragment to do this. In these days, many parents try to use this need to make their child get better grades in school. While some parents offer personal or mental complement to achieve this, others prefer to give cash money for every high score their child gets. Athough I am completely agree with the whole idea of giving incentive to the students, I believe giving money to students is not a productive way because it makes the child's personality conditional and parents can not continue this practice all the time.

While paying money may improve the student's score, it damages the child's personality. In other words, student become dependent on geting money for his grades otherwise he won't study to get good grades. For example, my uncle's student who are used to getting money for his good grades, suddenly his grades and performance in classes decrease. When my uncle searched for the reason he findout that the reason was that his parents stoped paying him money for getting good grades.

Another problem with this approach is that parents cannot continue this way in the long term. For example, how can a father or mother give his child money when he is going to get a doctorate. As an example, consider a child who used to to this approach he goes to auniversity and gets good grade, but he expects his professor to give him money because of his experience with his parents.

In summary, even though offering an ncentive is a good way to encourage students, giving them cash is not productive and can damage child's personality. Additionally, parents cannot countinue thhis approach for a long time that eventually results in low performance.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 375, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'agreed'.
Suggestion: agreed
...eir child gets. Athough I am completely agree with the whole idea of giving incentive...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 234, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: to
...s an example, consider a child who used to to this approach he goes to auniversity an...
^^^^^
Line 8, column 34, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...ts. In summary, even though offering an ncentive is a good way to encourage stu...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, may, so, while, for example, in summary, in other words

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 43.0788530466 86% => OK
Preposition: 29.0 52.1666666667 56% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1455.0 1977.66487455 74% => OK
No of words: 296.0 407.700716846 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.91554054054 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14784890444 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52910152962 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 158.0 212.727598566 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.533783783784 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 451.8 618.680645161 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.4272290162 48.9658058833 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.923076923 100.406767564 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7692307692 20.6045352989 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.61538461538 5.45110844103 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.246443190541 0.236089414692 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100322861999 0.076458572812 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0551583322734 0.0737576698707 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145816832847 0.150856017488 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0595265912422 0.0645574589148 92% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 11.7677419355 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.77 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 86.8835125448 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.