TPO-44 INDEPENDENT TASK
Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork. Which of the two approaches do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Studies and sports, both are of utmost importance for children in this contemporary world. Both helps equally in the overall developement of children. But when busy parents do not have much time to spend with their children, what should be done? Should children spend that time in school work or in playing games? Certainly, some people if asked would agree that fun activities are better for children at that time, while others would say that the question is double-edge due to a number of factors involved. As far as i am concerned, I adopt the firm position that student spent that time in school related activities. I feel this way for two main reasons that I will explore in the following essay.
First exquisite point to be mentioned is that school related activitioes help in the overall developement of child. Nowadays schools have started focusing on all the factors that leads to development of child. Thus they conduct wide variety of activities such as different kinds of games, general knowledge activities, studies related assignments etc. If the parents are working or busy in their own job related work, it is obvious they can not spend much time with their children. It the child develops the habit of doing school work or studies only in the presence of parents then it will effect negatively on child's growth. If a child can understand his or her responsibility towards his/her job like school work or studies, it will be very much benefical for him/her in his/her future endeavors.
Having discussed the point of development of children, let us now move on to another aspect that it helps in creating sincerity in the child. My own experience is a very good example for that. My elder brother and sister-in-law both are working and they spend around eight to nine hours of their day in work. During that time, I always fond my nephew busy in his school related activities. I never found him wasting his time in other stuffs children like to do like This way he could mange to delevop greate skills like reading skills, time managment, discipline etc. This helped him a lot in cracking the very hard exam to admission in a top rank college in our country.
In addition to aforementioned points, i would like to mention about a research conducted by CSR institute in India. The discovered results suggest that the students who spent more of their hours on studies/schoolwork are more successful than who spent their major time in playing.
In summary, I strongly believe that school activities are very much important for students because they not only help in their overall developement but also brings sincerity and discipline in their life.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Studies and sports, both are of utmost importance for children in this contemporary world.
Both studies and sports are of utmost importance for children in this contemporary world.
First exquisite point to be mentioned
The first exquisite point to be mentioned
overall developement of child.
overall development of a child.
overall development of children.
all the factors that leads to development of child.
all the factors that lead to the development of children.
It the child develops the habit of doing school work or studies only in the presence of parents then it will effect negatively on child's growth.
If the child develops the habit of doing school work or studies only in the presence of parents, then it will affect negatively on children's growth.
are more successful than who spent their major time in playing.
are more successful than those who spent their major time in playing.
...students because they not only help in their overall developement but also brings sincerity and discipline in their life.
...students because they not only help in their overall developement but also bring sincerity and discipline in their life.
Sentence: Both helps equally in the overall developement of children.
Error: developement Suggestion: development
Sentence: First exquisite point to be mentioned is that school related activitioes help in the overall developement of child.
Error: developement Suggestion: development
Error: activitioes Suggestion: activities
Sentence: If a child can understand his or her responsibility towards his/her job like school work or studies, it will be very much benefical for him/her in his/her future endeavors.
Error: benefical Suggestion: beneficial
Sentence: I never found him wasting his time in other stuffs children like to do like This way he could mange to delevop greate skills like reading skills, time managment, discipline etc. This helped him a lot in cracking the very hard exam to admission in a top rank college in our country.
Error: managment Suggestion: management
Error: greate Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: delevop Suggestion: develop
Sentence: In summary, I strongly believe that school activities are very much important for students because they not only help in their overall developement but also brings sincerity and discipline in their life.
Error: developement Suggestion: development
----------------------
flaws:
1. though one side is supported, try always compare two sides in the content, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
2. No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2 //Read a good grammar book.
3. most sentences are simple sentences with a lot of pronouns as subjects. need more compound/complex sentences.
----------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 458 350
No. of Characters: 2166 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.626 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.729 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.56 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.9 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.081 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.45 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.514 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 520, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...a number of factors involved. As far as i am concerned, I adopt the firm position...
^
Line 3, column 211, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ors that leads to development of child. Thus they conduct wide variety of activities...
^^^^
Line 3, column 570, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... work or studies only in the presence of parents then it will effect negatively o...
^^
Line 3, column 593, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[6]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
...n the presence of parents then it will effect negatively on childs growth. If a child...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 775, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ll be very much benefical for him/her in his/her future endeavors. Having disc...
^^
Line 7, column 39, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... In addition to aforementioned points, i would like to mention about a research ...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, so, then, thus, while, i feel, in addition, in summary, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2222.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 454.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89427312775 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61598047577 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6904977539 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.513215859031 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 669.6 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.2900257861 48.9658058833 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.0 100.406767564 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.6363636364 20.6045352989 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.86363636364 5.45110844103 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.239469002219 0.236089414692 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0746699122941 0.076458572812 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0885682931722 0.0737576698707 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131127579163 0.150856017488 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0836563815079 0.0645574589148 130% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 11.7677419355 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 86.8835125448 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.